Very confused :/

Hi. This is my first post here and im just looking for some help :icon_redf

I have been hiding the fact that I like guy's from everyone for about 6 years ( I came to the realization that i liked guys when I was about 10, im about to be 17 in 2 months) and its been really hard, sometimes I get the urge to tell my best friend ( A girl ) but im very afraid of what she might say. :eusa_doh:

I like guys but when it comes to females , its just like , I like them too but not as much. It's very hard to explain. I think im as Bisexual but i lean more toward guy's. Out in the open when i see a hot guy ill check him out but not making it obvious because people where i live are kind of homophobic. They make fun of feminine people and gay/bi/trans/les people. And if you try to stand up for them they get all defensive and insult you ._. Its hard for me to hide this because everyones going on dates and having fun while im having a constant struggle to know what I like! It makes me depressed but i cant even get help from my friends because then i would have to tell them, Some people even suspect i might be Gay or Bi , they have flat out asked ," Are you gay?, I say "No ", They respond with "Well why dont you get a girlfriend then?" and ill just say something like "Because i dont like anyone here, not my type lol" :bang: .

Also, I actually tried to come out to my parents when I was about 12 but it was a complete disaster :dry: , My dad was totaly unsuportive and he actually screamed at me and said alot of umm , things. My mother was more calm about it but she didn't accept it, she just keep saying things like "Oh its just a phase , your not gay". So my parents dont support me and i cant ask for their help in anyway ._. ( my dad calls homosexuals Demons and it hurts me inside because , he doesn't know it but he's calling ME that) . Im just lucky they havnt asked . Anyway, since that "incident" I have distanced myself from them , I dont share anything personal with them and I only have me . I have to bottle up all my problems :icon_sad:

Sorry this is kind of long and has a bunch of different stuff , just had to vent a little , I have keep't this in my head for so long its been taking a toll on me. Basicly what i wanted to ask is ,

How did you know your sexuality for sure? , How do i accept myself ? and What should I do! :help: Thank's for reading this mess :lol: