Hey dudes :smilewave I've been questioning my sexuality for about a year now so if anyone has any advice or similar experiences they'd like to share that'd be great! Basically, until this year, I thought I was straight. In my childhood and early teens (I am 17 now) I thought I was straight. I had crushes on guys, flirted with guys, and kind of liked the idea of being with them sexually. But, to be honest, I really hated the idea of penises and found that part of a guy kind of repulsive. Then I went through a long period of asexuality, where nobody was attractive emotionally or physically. For a few years, I thought a relationship with a guy might be okay (I didn't really want one though), but the idea of sex with a guy was like "no thanks". Then, my attraction to guys all together decreased until the point where the idea of being with a guy repulsed me. I was really not attracted to guys in the slightest on any level. So I started questioning - could I like girls? I loved girls bodies, but I questioned the romantic side of things. Soon enough, I found myself having crushes on girls and kind of physically attracted to them too. Some were like mega, mega crushes like bigger than I'd ever had with guys. Now I feel nothing again. So now I'm left all confused! Any clues? Do you think it's possible to have your sexuality change suddenly? Notes: - In a recent experiment, I enjoyed lesbian porn but not straight porn... these were my first times watching porn so I don't know how I would've felt a few years ago - My crushes with guys always tended to be like... They had a crush on me first, and then I had a crush on the idea that they liked me - When I watched movies, the sex scenes turned me on but I think it was just the idea of pleasure, not the idea of being with a guy - I had an early sexual experience (really early) with a girl, but I think that was just like... experimentation? I liked it at the time. - I haven't had the best experience with guys... and I think that contributed to my repulsion... except penises have never floated my boat... Sorry if this was long or confusing. Thanks so much for your help. (*hug*)
I can relate to you. I found out what some would consider 'late' in discovering my sexuality. I found out at 16. There are some older people who find out later I suppose, but to me 16 feels late when I hear about other's experiences. First, I don't know from personal experience, but other's on the forum say that porn is a bad indication of sexual orientation. Now, my situation, being similar to yours, I thought I was straight, even believing I would marry a woman. I started thinking about my sexuality when I was 15 but not too seriously and I certainly didn't think I'd be gay at the time. I even went through a period of 'asexuality,' since I didn't seem interested in girls and I couldn't accept the fact that maybe I liked guys. After I turned 16, I explored more. Labeled myself as bisexual. Then, in August, I accepted myself as gay. I'm not sure what to tell you because you still sound like you are still figuring it all out. And personally, I think that's the best way to go. To handle it on your own whilst venting here! At this point, don't worry about labels. I don't think it will help you, because it didn't help me. Think about who you like. Even when I was deciding on bi or gay, I admitted that I like guys. So settle those issues. Tackle little things (well, little relative to the big picture hehe), then you can decide on more definite labels and how you want to identify yourself, hoping to eventually come out. I'm still stuck on the last step. Haven't decided when to tell yet though I have an idea of when and I'm feeling pretty close to that moment.
Well, sexuality can definitely change a lot--it's fluid, depends on a lot of things. Also, from my own experience and observation, it seems to change a lot more when you're constantly questioning it; probably because you are attuned to it and also stressed out. I had kind of the same experience as you, it sounds like, in that I mostly thought I was straight, then not, then asexual, then just confused. Also, I thought it was interesting that you say, in terms of liking boys, "They had a crush on me first, and then I had a crush on the idea that they liked me" because I kind of recall having that same feeling in sixth grade or so. I can't tell you what your sexuality is, needless to say, but it does sound like you're attracted to girls; in what capacity compared to any possible attraction to boys--can't say. It does sound like, if anything, you're not really sexually attracted to boys. Also I feel like things are most turbulent before you figure things out, and will settle down later, especially if you haven't thought much about your sexuality before. Otherwise, I've heard often that porn's a bad indicator of sexuality. Movies may be too, but I don't know. I think it's good if you give it some time, not make up your mind definitively while things fluctuate. You know, live and let live.
Sexuality is fluid, my friend. It's common for humans to question in their lifetime about their sexuality, and some just turn out straight, gay, bi, etc.! From what it sounds like, you could be bisexual, but then again, it's up to you on how you feel
Well, i'm in the same situation with freezingmoon. I like the ones who like me first but unluckily i then find out they aren't truthful. too hurt. In the past i liked man but Recently i like a girl for the first time. So shocked and still wondering.
Thanks everybody for your replies - it's been really helpful. It's also comforting to hear from people who have had similar experiences
I think I understand what you're going through. Up until recently I was desperately ignoring the fact that I was not really interested in guys as anything other than friends, and that I am more attracted to pretty girls than to hot guys. I've considered kissing a girl before, but kissing a guy would just feel awkward. So I have recently started looking into what my sexuality is. I honestly have NO idea how to tell right now, but I'm sure I'll figure it out and I hope you do, too! =)
