So like many here I too am confused on my sexual orientation as a 19 year old male and have been since around 7th grade. I hung out with girls a lot as a kid and had crushes and a lot of them. I didn't get along with guys my age as much and I thought girls were cute and wanted to date them so it seemed natural to hang out with them instead. I never even considered anything other than girls until when I was curious about makes women back when I was in 6th grade and instead of sticking with women I fell onto gay porn and that's when things just clicked for me porn wise. I've been watching gay porn since. But things really confuse me because for a long time I only had desires to date girls and be with girls and sexually express myself with girls but only fantasized about guys and watched gay porn. I maybe had guy I crushed on per year and many more girls I crushed on which seemed to change almost every week. I never had many fantasies about girls but I did have a girl friend freshman year and when ever we got together the attraction between us was overwhelming and I couldn't keep my hands off of her. I loved how intense we were together and it got me really horny and excited but I moved and we never got to actually experiment past some dry humping Until recently maybe my junior year I never really tried to be honest with myself and address what I was feeling. When I started doing this I experimented with masturbation mainly. So like I would try not looking at porn for a few days and see what I wanted to look at, or I'd try to look at straight porn instead. A lot of times I never stuck with straight porn because I was more familiar with my gay tendencies and I could get off so much quicker. So still I stuck to gay porn, still with little experimentation. Then a year ago my best friend came out to me and told me he was gay. And at this point I told myself it was really time to figure out what my sexuality is. So I looked at women a lot more and 2 months after he came out to me I met this girl who I was crazy for. She was super cute, laughed at so many of my stupid jokes, was super sweet and shy but I didn't start talking to her for a month or so. So then shortly after I met her I had this straight streak where all I wanted to do was watch straight and lesbian porn, look at women and be a man. I loved it. I ended up dating that girl and I lost my virginity to her. There was not a single moment she couldn't turn me on. I don't know if it's sexual interaction in general with women but whenever I do anything with girls, it gets me really excited and I always get turned on. But then sometimes I still wanted to watch gay porn later in our relationship and then I moved to college and we broke up because it wasn't working out. I started doubting my sexuality again because I went back to gay porn and now it seems it goes that for every 2 times I get off to anything gay I want to get off to dorm thing straight. Although getting off to gay stuff is still easier. I'm starting to notice what I like in both genders more and now I'm thinking I'm bi but I'm really not sure. When it comes down to an actual relationship with a guy, I feel like if start to miss women and just want to have sex with a girl. And then when I'm with a girl I feel like I need something gay to balance it out? Now that I'm typing this all it seems very bisexual. But some how I still doubt it on either side and wonder what you all think. And if I am bisexual, how can you stay content in a relationship with one person? Any other advice?
