Hello, I'm a gay man who will one day want to settle down with another gay man (ideally). I don't know any other "out" Bi-sexuals who I am able to ask questions about with regard to relationships and how they select companions. I'm looking to start a conversation about bi-sexuality. Sex is only a small part of relationships in general. Is it important to disclose your bi-sexual status? Is a bi-sexual always a bi-sexual or is he or she "straight" when they are involved with somebody of the opposite sex and/or "gay/les when with someone of the same sex? Or are they neither here nor there (so-to-speak). I know I can't censor anyone nor do I want to. But I would like to hear from those who "self-identify" as being bi-sexual and are out (out: at least telling one friend and one partner during a relationship with them). --------------------------------------- Thanks for your input.
Hey Alex, you seem to be a critical thinker. To me, if you have the physical capacity to act with either sex, on a mechanical level, you are bisexual. If a person is in heterosexual mode or homosexual mode as far as a romantic interest goes, they are still bisexual, unless they were homosexual or lesbian beforehand and are sort of making a "homecoming." My attitude is that there are both pros and cons to being with each of the two genders bisexuals are usually involved with, and some are strongly positive and some are strongly negative. As for my status, my immediate family knows (each member through different means) and some of my friends do as well.
Hey Tightrope, Thanks for your feedback! To answer your assumptions about my thinking type. Yes I would agree that I enjoy using my critical thinking skills as I do any other skill I am looking to exercise. This forum focuses on Sexual and Romantic Orientation and I would like to understand bi-sexual men (at this time) and how they view bi-sexuality in terms of sharing experiences with regard to values, what types of disparities (if any) bi-sexual men might face. I want to learn from everyone and this is my way of trying to understand what the "B" in LGBT means for me. It could come in handy if a nephew or someone close to me wants more info on the matter. I'm interested in developing a connection with people of all walks of life because I believe we all have information that helps us to understand one another. I will take a moment to share something about growing up as a gay man. For me it wasn't easy. Not because I was gay but because my elders taught me to always consider the other before myself. This taught me many things. One thing is that if I were asked if I would teach my child or another child what I being gay is about even after knowing he, or in fact, she isn't interested in the details of romantic or much less sexual behavior with other person of the same-sex. My answer would be yes. I love being gay so much that I would be (light-weight) jealous if I found out someone else in my immediate family were LGBT. You mentioned that as a bi-sexual person there are (modes-of-being) hetero or homo or fixed as a bi-sexual. Depending on how a person started off (either gay,les,bi). Can you name a pro and a con for us to being with both sexes without fear that we might take you out of context? Again, what from your experience as a bi-sexual male or female can you share with us on being, becoming, having been a bi individual? Thanks again, -Alex
I'm bisexual and I have a boyfriend but I still consider myself bisexual- I'm attracted to both sexes still. It's not that important for me to tell everyone of my sexuality, but it is a part of my brian, and we do interact with our sexuality everyday, so if someone is my friend I would think they should know i am bisexual- most of my friends do, I'm working on all of them
I've heard mixed responses to your first question: some day "yes, honesty is the best policy," while others have said, "if it's going to make your partner insecure, why bring it up?" Personally, I've told all of my exes of my bisexual leanings, since it felt dishonest and stifling to constantly have to monitor what I said or did around them. Some will disagree, but we owe it to ourselves and others to be out instead of living in some half closet, for the sake of not wanting to rock the boat. I'm a bisexual regardless of who I'm dating, sleeping with, or in a relationship with, regardless of how others might see me. I might not use the word all that often, specifically, but people usually get the hints when I imply that I'm open to activities and relations with members of both sexes.
