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confusion and sex

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by jelly5, Dec 8, 2013.

  1. jelly5

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    The thing is I consider my self bisexual. However I have been dating a guy for a while, first person ever actually dated. And one the reasons started dating him is because I liked him thought he was nice and funny. well we were hanging out with a few friends last night drinking and stuff. just doing some partying and I am an extreme light weight. And later on that night we were making out and we ended up having sex. Well to be honest I didn't enjoy the sex at all . I thought it was the most painful thing ever and completely awkward lol. plus I was drunk and to top it all off I am a virgin and I am a little up set I lost my virginity in that way too especially when I am not sure If i really like the person I am with. However it got me questioning my sexuality since I didn't seem to enjoy it. I mean I am attracted to guys I thought. could it be person I was with ?or maybe I am just attracted to idea of being with guys but not sex maybe?? or is just me freaking out? It just got me rethinking everything and makes me feel very insecure about myself. Any advice or has anyone else gone through this?
     
  2. sweetiepi

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    don't jump to labeling yourself- just because you didnt enjoy the experience doesn't mean that you're not gay/bi. also- be careful about having sex when you're drunk it could end badly.
     
  3. Matt1187

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    I'm so sorry that it went over like that, I know there are plenty of guys out there who are not really into gay sex and also there are men who prefer to be tops and bottoms if they are into it. Maybe you would be more into it if you were a top over a bottom or maybe anal just isn't your thing, but also you say you were drunk so its hard to use these kinds of experiences as proof of one's orientation. I mean the guy you were with was also drunk I'm assuming so who knows if that's how the experience would be the next time you try. What I'm really saying is that you shouldn't try to relabel yourself over one experience, especially one with alcohol involved, if you have been comfortable with being bisexual then I wouldn't change a thing.
     
  4. Riddick

    Riddick Guest

    It's not that you are not attracted to guys, its that you haven't been honest about the way you really feel about this guy. When you find the write person, a person you would go to all lengths for, there will be nothing to regret about the love you make.
    Definitely it sounds like you were just living in the moment, being under the influence of alcohol and all.
    All of the things we do have a time and a place for which they must occur. Its worth waiting for the one who you choose to love to have that special moment with. Even though you might be attracted to this guy you had sex with, I'm not sure you had taken the time to consider your love for him.

    Its cheesy i know, but when you love someone and you make love to that person, you wouldn't even have the smallest amount of regret. (Yeah... i wouldn't know about that feeling pain bit lol)

    Even though I'll never understand it myself but... "Time"... we all have to be patient when it comes to being in a relationship with someone.

    We face the same confusion you and i, but your sexuality cannot be defined by having sex with another guy. This won't help you find out you sexuality more than what even scientists would tell you about it. Oh... and you can't be attracted to the idea of just being with a guy without, the other essentials of sexual arousal.

    I think you'll understand better when you finally meet someone who makes you quake in the knees.

    Considering the situation of you drunken state... I see why you were uncomfortable. Every thing you do has a time and place. You were way off with your timing and definitely in the wrong place.
     
    #4 Riddick, Dec 8, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2013
  5. jelly5

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    thanks for the advice and now that im thinking more clearly due to you guys perspective. I would say you guys are right. I really took a down hill turn when go drunk it just got me doubting for a while even when I knew for a 2 years what my sexuality was. and now that I think about it probably was just not me being mentally prepared because in drunken state. thanks again you guys :slight_smile: