After a large amount of thought, I feel that I am in fact pansexual. This means that even as I was coming out I was still closeted which makes sense as coming out as gay/bi felt....wrong, somehow. The other problem is that I still feel wrong, somehow, because I'm a guy, (not trans*) and I'm pansexual. Or omnisexual or Gender-Blind or what have you. Forgive me for sounding ignorant but even here on this forum on which the population of LGBT people is extremely concentrated and even with my constant obsessive reading of all the subforums pansexuality seems to be restricted to females and/or humans with gender dysphoria (that is, Gender-Queer/Fluid, Agender, Trans, BiGender, Intersex FAAB). In other words, I haven't see a single pansexual male that I can recall. Again I don't mean to sound rude or discriminating toward those males reading this (or not) who are in fact pansexual. Is there some type of societal discrepancy here? Are males forbidden from being genderblind? Am I so sheltered (and closteted) that I'm blatantly missing some factor in male omnisexuality? In conclusion my real question (besides Why did I make you read all that?) is I beg your pardon, but why is it that even after I've deliberated on my sexuality, I still feel fake, and incorrect, broken and... wrong? Thanks for any replies. A long while ago I made a post called Pansexuality, ergo, the title. It never fails. There are 54 Pan Males on this forum as of now. That's 0.00145270633%. I'm blind. And genderblind. :lol:
Feeling "fake" goes with normal shifts in identity as you grow and change. First days on a new job, likely to feel a bit like a performance. When I began making visual art again after many years, I felt like I had to use scare-quotes to call myself an artist. Like I was making it up, but now it feels like what I am more than any other label I use for myself. It part, a disconnect between how you see yourself and how you imagine others see you. Give it time. Follow your desire and try not to worry about the labels.
Yeah, I try to, but everyone else (it seems) relying on identifying things to the atom...usually I don't get too too hung up on labels
If you consider pansexual to be the most accurate label for yourself, then you could publicly identify as that. No label is going to fit every person perfectly, and only you know what you truly are. As long as you alone are comfortable identifying as generally pansexual, I wouldn't worry about the demographic.
