Newbie Here

I'm new here. I've enjoyed reading the posts on the forum. I have a delimma of my own that I am confused about. Really hoping to get some advice.

Long story short, I'm married with a husband and 3 kids. My marriage with my h is rather up and down. We have sex very infrequently for a combination of reasons. I was ill for a while and then depressed and then had kids. None of these events helped us to be intimate. He denies that he's not attracted to me or not want to have sex with me but neither me nor him initiates anything. I sometimes complain to him about not initiating and then he just tells me when he does I always rejects him. It's kind of true as it always seems that he finds the most odd / inconvenient times to want to engage in it. I seem to only want to do it when it's on my terms. Like the last time we had sex was when we conceived our child. It was kind of scheduled and to me it was like fulfilling a duty. Anyhow, I was very attracted to him for the early part of our relationship sexually. Other than him, I have only been infatuated with guys before. But I have questioned my sexually over the years on and off since my 20's. I have felt momentary sexual attraction to girls before and some other times admiration/idolizing of other girls. But I've never fantasized about getting together with girls sexually or romantically before. Well, it has all changed recently...

There is this girl that started at my office recently. I don't really work with her directly but our cubicles are nearby. I've never spoken to her directly only been in the same meetings so on. I don't know of her orientation but I remember thinking she may be gay when I first met her. Sorry I feel like I'm rambling on but recently I "think" I noticed her stare at me from time to time. I also feel that when we are in meetings she pays extra attention to me. Now this could be just my over active imagination but whether she likes me or not isn't really the main issue here I guess. The fact is I started to get nervous around her and started to get butterflies in my stomach. It's developed into quite an infatuation. I imagine what it would be like to kiss her, to touch her, to be in a relationship with her. I also find that I'm sexually attracted to her. She's the first and only woman that I have had an infatuation with in the exact same way I was infatuated with guys before. I'm really confused. I don't know if this means I'm bi-sexual or not. I don't even know if my infatuation with her is real or not as she does dress like a boy somewhat. Is it possible for a straight woman to be sexually attracted to another woman who dresses masculine and somehow my mind is not registering her being female? I know I sound confusing as I am confused! Any insights would be very appreciated!

p.s. I do find her sexually attractive in a femine way so I guess I answer part of my question above. I have noticed her slender fingers and other femine features and found them delightful.

Please someone help me think this through. I guess my other important question is, given the fact I am married. Should I pursue anything with this woman? Or should I deal with my sexual orientation questions in a "non-cheating" way to respect my marriage. So much to think of!!!