Salutations fellow humans, Right, so here's my issue. I'm in my first year of high school, just joined the local Gay-Straight Alliance cuz human rights are rather awesome. When I joined, I had fairly often thought of males in a sexual regard, but never had I felt any romantic emotions towards a male. I just never considered it. I liked girls. After being in GSA for a bit and hearing peoples stories, i felt accepted, like I fit in. Now I'm rather weird, so that's not easily done. But now, I fnd myself thinking about both males and females in a romantic/sexual way. So I suppose my question is- is this legit bisexuality, or just a phase of some sort? Because I sometimes have random interests for a few months or a year and then it's gone, like when I was into Wicca, and before that, fundamentalist Christianity. Granted, bisexuality isn't religion, but the fact that this type of long term thought pattern is common with me is why I'm unsure, and it's also why I haven't really told anyone about this confusion- it sounds really weird if one day your friend says omigod I'm bi and then half a year later he's like nope I'm straight as an arrow. Lol. But yeah, if anyone could maybe point out a determining variable in the equation that I didn't detect, or maybe just offer some advice, I'd appreciate it a lot. Thanks, Buddhist (who is actually an atheist but meh)
Hi there. Obviously the following is just a personal opinion, it could be completely wrong, it's up to you to know if there is truth or meaning in it specifically for you. Maybe there is a possibility you always had these feelings, but they weren't completely obvious to you. That could be why you had thoughts/the will to join the GSA. Or maybe you were just a nice person doing a good thing for Human Rights as you said. That's sort of beside the point, just a thought. I feel that there is a possibility that your new perspective could be a little warped by the fact that your feeling like you fit in there so well. Perhaps being caught up in the feeling of belonging and mixing it or confusing it with having sexual/romantic connections with guys. As you've said you've just joined, perhaps in time the feelings will change as the "newness" wears off of them and you understand it all better. You also mention having "sexual/romantic" feelings towards guys and girls. It's my opinion that in order to truly define your sexuality the feelings need to be more then just a physical thing. Let face it, sex is fun (Or so I've been lead to believe), being interested in pleasure/fun is all fine and great, but to me Sexuality is about the emotional connection. I'm not sure how you define your "romantic" interest, you maybe actually be there. If that is the case, or if the feelings become/are deeper then "entertainment" then I think you could start to consider yourself Bi. Sadly there is no easier answer, if there was sites like EC wouldn't exist, they just wouldn't be needed. I think the important thing to do is to enjoy your life without feeling the need to label yourself. Don't stress about what you may or may not be, just enjoy the ride. Don't shut yourself off to *any* ideas, just play it by ear and take things one step at the time.
Yeah- I suppose I'll just give it time. When I first had these feelings, I suspected that it was a subconscious effort my by mind to fit in to the group (GSA) better, if that makes any sense. I suppose right now I'm just rather...confused. I'll wait. I'll go on some long soul-searching walks. Maybe I'll meditate, but I'm terrible at sitting still and thinking nothing for prolonged periods of time. To me, romantic emotions are ones that make it so when you glance towards them, you're drawn not to their body (although sometimes that too) but to the eyes, and what lies behind them (windows to the soul analogy). You are drawn to their smile, their laugh. And when those fateful eyes should look at you, you get shivers down your spine and it's like This was meant to be. And I've had crushes on guys and girls before, and it's felt rather like this in both instances. So, I'm inclined to think that I'm probably bisexual. Like you say though, GSA may have warped my perspective. Which leads back to solution one- give it time. I reckon I'll do just that. Thanks a ton, Buddhist (who is atheistic in that he has no God-belief, but buddhist in that he does acknowledge the existence of a soul)
Don't be so quick to determine your sexuality! You're still in your glory days like I am,have fun,test some stuff!
