Perhaps when I was 14 I had started to think of fantasies. I've watched tons of anime, and I would fantasize about one of my characters and an anime guy. I did more of it in the past because I was going through puberty i think. But I've never been attracted to guys physically. Whenever I see a shirtless one I either feel indifferent or disgusted (depending on how big the muscles are). Around my period or close to it I have fantasies of sex with guys, but feel incredibly disgusted by it afterwards. I always wonder what it might be to be with a guy but whenever it is close to happening in RL I get a little freaked and am uninterested. With women, however, I have imagined finding one and having a lifelong friendship with her. And I do catch myself checking them out. I can't help but let my eyes wander to their faces and body (esp boobs) but no such thing happens when I am around men. I was brought up to believe that homosexuality was nasty and wrong and my mom would often tell me no one would like me if people ---------- Post added 14th Dec 2013 at 10:41 PM ---------- (mobile, continued) if people noticed that I was looking at girls' boobs. So in a nutshell I have wondered about what it would be like with a guy but have turned down all offers from every man who has tried to date me yet find myself physically attracted to women and wanting to establish relationships with them. But due to the influence of religion I think I might have suppressed my attraction for girls. I've had a few girl crushes that were deeper than those of the men. I would merely be attracted to the boys' faces but not their bod, and their personality, but it wasn't serious really since they were sort of...flings, like brief and shallow crushes. With the girls I would be genuinely fascinated and would really desire to be with them. What do you guys think?
