So I made a point on another thread that got me thinking and made me really upset with myself. Actually, more accurately I kind of feel ashamed about it because not only do I feel it makes me out to be kind of a dick, it also feels like my own brain is trying to undo everything I have been trying to achieve recently. So basically my problem is girls and my sexuality. Now I am pansexual, I'm quite happy with whatever you've got down there as long as I like you enough to find out. I feel more inclined towards guys romantically. Sexually, I find girls more pleasing to look at but I would still rather have a guy I think...actually its quite strange because if I fantasise about sex with a guy, I feel really good about it, with a girl I feel really good about it while it's going on and then I don't like it afterwards...I guess because in the fantasy I want to just snuggle up to the guy and the girl just disappears... Anyway they problem is transgirls. I find transgirls immensely attractive. Is that a bad thing? Not on its own, no. The problem is that I would rather date a trans-girl than a cis-girl any day of the week. Which is bad, because we ARE girls. We are, I know we are. I know I'm a girl and I would probably feel bad if someone picked me over another girl JUST because I was trans. I'm really not sure what to do about this. Any thoughts?
Understand there is a difference between 'liking transgirls' and 'prefering trans girls to cisgirls', for me at least or worse, liking transgirls and not cisgirls, which for some reason I am on the border of and I hate it.
I'm sure, even amongst pansexuals, there has to be some measure of preference. I mean, I like men and women and everything but certain types just don't do it for me. Twinks, sons, the ultra-thin (ribs, ew.), the elderly, the dirty and unclean...
Why would it be bad? You're not a chaser, or discriminating against cisgirls, and probably gravitate towards those who would likely be more understanding of your gender identity and the struggles that come with it. We still live in a world where ts are regularly assaulted, murdered, discriminated against, and denied basic human needs, like housing, employment, and healthcare. There are people even within the LGBT community that wouldn't give someone a second thought simply because of their trans status. On top of everything else said, it's a preference, and most people have them. You're not hurting anyone by admitting this. There are plenty of transmen and women who date other transfolk, and even I have a slight preference for dating another bisexual or pansexual, since there's common ground.
I guess...I suppose I just feel like I shouldn't have this seperation in my head of trans and cisgirls....
Showing greater or lesser attraction to transgender individuals isn't at all uncommon in reality. Clearly, there is a portion of the individuals that have a preference that have it because of reasons of ignorance and prejudice; however, there are instances when it simply comes down to honest preference. The reality that people come in a variety of shapes and sizes that entirely transcends the boundaries of gender. Of course, transgender individuals are members of their respected genders just as cis-individuals, but it doesn't mean that they don't come with their own set of life experiences and varieties all the same. Certainly, we are all the same under the large blanket of gender, but there is so much that differentiates people from one another. With expression, appearance, and personality we all have things that separate us from one another. There isn't anything wrong with finding yourself drawn to any sub-category of gender, as long as you don't use it as an excuse to establish a divide between the way you see or treat those that fall outside of that group.
You shouldn't feel bad you like what you like I like women more than i like men I even prefer having relationships with women . I don't think you should feel bad for it it's your preferance you like what you like and you shouldn't feel bad for it
Don't feel bad about it. There's no need to change who you are or what you feel for anything or anyone as long as you're happy and feel it's the right thing for you.
Even though you're pansexual, there's nothing wrong with having a preference based on genitals. You can't help but differentiate trans and cis girls, they sometimes have different bodies and you just prefer one of them, it's no big deal. I remember one time I started feeling really affectionate towards a girl I was talking to on tumblr, she said she was bisexual and from her picture I thought she had short hair. She then started saying stuff like her parents love her girlfriend, and then another time she said her parents don't know she's bi. I went into a panic and realized she never said she was female, I just assumed she was, her picture had been kind of hazy anyway. So it turned out she was a guy anyway, and I didn't feel affectionate towards him at all. I felt awful because he was still the same person. But we can't help that we have these preferences unfortunately
Re: Now I feel hurt Hey guys, i have a question, my and my ex were in a intimate relationship for 10 years, and she broke up with me because her family wants her to get married. We always in love even after break up, i can see her from the way she speaks and her eyes, we are so much in love. but now she wants to move on. can her orientation changes after marriage?
