First, I wanna get out that this was something I went through in my teenage years that I still question. At the age of 16 I felt really bad about only like guys for their privates and nothing more. Other attractions that aren't sexual, like kissing and holding (other than with my first) never turn me on till this day. It would always make me feel like a stereotype to only want guys for their body's and still be attracted to women, you know, the down low stereotype. So my questions to EC, now that I know of this site, was this something that I should have done something about or did I just jump the gun by labeling myself bi for liking gay sex? I mean, this can't be a good thing, right? Its like I'm only sexually attracted to men and not attracted to men. Is that even bisexual?
So I just read this article about why straight men have sex with other men. Don't know if this helps but it relate with my issue.
Sorry but if you like to have sex with men, You're Bi or Gay, The label has nothing to do with an "Identity", It literally deals with whether you like dicks or vagina, Or both. I feel the link you showed is more of a denialist post, As he OBVIOUSLY seems to think being LGBT means you have an "Identity", Which is rubbish Imho. Good luck with finding out who you are, Though in the end, What ever makes YOU happy is what matters with this whole ordeal, How you choose to identify should make YOU feel comfortable, No matter what others may say on either side of the spectrum.
I have a tremendous amount of respect for Joe Kort, but when it comes to that sort of issue, I think he's speaking only from his own experience and I haven't seen much other research or even clinical reports that mirror his experiences. I think, when we're in the process of accepting who we are, many of us choose the "bi" label because it gives us options. If you think about the 5 stages of loss (denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance), labeling ourselves as "bi" gives us permission to stay in bargaining... as in, "Well, I may be attracted to guys now, but I'll still eventually end up married to a woman." Now, before all the bisexual people show up with pitchforks, let me add that there are plenty of people who are genuinely bisexual... but there's also a large contingent that use the label for safety/convenience/bargaining when they start accepting themselves, and later realize that they honestly don't have much attraction to the opposite sex. And in a similar vein, I hear an awful, awful lot of newly-coming-to-terms guys use the "Well, I'm sexually attracted to men, but romantically attracted to women" line, and again, most of the time, this is part of bargaining. A lot of people at EC have talked about how, as they came to love and accept themselves as gay men (or lesbians), they discovered that this separation between romantic and sexual attraction went away. Only you can know for sure. But if you don't find yourself sexually attracted to women, and you do to men, then it's pretty safe to say you're gay.
Thx chip ..... Kind of explains a lot to me .... Still confused a bit ... Perhaps just bargaining ....
I like both genders, but I'm only sexually attracted to men and I'm completely attracted to women, if that makes sense. Is this the definition of bisexual?
If, when you masturbate without porn, you can think about women and get aroused and orgasm, and then, the next time, you can think about men and get aroused and orgasm, and when you're out and about, you find your eyes being attracted to hot girls and hot guys... then you're bisexual. If you find you're more strongly pulled toward men, then you're more likely gay. Only about 10% of the population are completely straight or gay according to Kinsey's research, and everyone else is somewhere on the continuum, but for all intents and purposes, it's where your fantasies and attractions lie that make the determination. And what I said above about bargaining plays a really big role in how we view ourselves until we're completely comfortable accepting whatever sexuality we actually are.
Dont you need to fall in love with a gender to be gay/bi ot straight? Its not only about sex I Think. There are people that are attracted sexual to man and romantic/emotionally to women. People tell them they are in denial and afraid to accept that they are gay and if they accept it The emotional connection will work. But what if someone accepts the emotional attraction? There is a chance that sexual attraction can develop when you get to know eachother and the bond gets stronger. You can be sexually attracted to men,but if you dont fall in love with men and dont want to share your life with them then youre not gay. If you see yourself with a women and having kids( not for society,but for yourself) cause you feel happier that way and your emotional attracted to women and fell in love with her then youre straight! But if you throw up just kissing with girls or you dont like women like a straight men who dont like men in a relation,well then youre Gay. But if you feel some attraction to women and more attraction to men on a sexual way and also emotional to women i will go for the women. I get aroused by older males(daddy's),but i dont fall in love with them and dont want a relationship. I slightly get aroused by woman but feel more emotional connected to them and want a relationship with them. Sex is not everything.Why should i choose a men?because they arouse me more in a sexual way? Sex is not that so important for me thank god! I dont desire or have a urge to have sex with men,but i still find hairy old men very very horny. I even asked it here in a topic, but now i know i fall in live with woman even iam not that much sexual attracted to them. But hey!! I feel emotional/romantic alot better. Dont think only about sex,only if You are really get grossed out by a female body and repulsed by any contact. When i look at a women i dont get aroused, but if i get physicall contact with kissing and touching and licking her i get aroused. By older men i can get aroused just by a picture or a men in public, but i dont think i want to have sex with him or something. Ofcourse it will be very horny to suck his cock and lick his nipples but i dont feel unhappy if i cant. And i think after sex with a hot men i want to go home to my wife, cause there is not much to share on an emotional level. But i wont do that and iam ok with it. Its different for everyone i guess! Some like sex more in life then others i guess. So its about who you fall in love with and not only sexual attaction. I tried to fall in love with men,but it just not working. Then people tell me you havent met the right men yet! I tell them that the clock is ticking and what if i never met him? There you are 60 years old and still waiting for the right men to meet. I rather have a less sexual attraction to a girl that i love!! Happy Christmas already!! Iam not bi by the way cause i dont fall in live with older daddys. They are just hot!
I look at women 100% the time and never at guys I hadn't looked at guys since i was 15 years old and when a girl tells me how hot a guy is I can no longer relate to the point where it feels foreign to me
I'm here with my pitchfork! Grrr and all that. But yeah, in response to the OP I would say that I hate labels, but yeah, liking guys and girls makes you bi. I don't think looking at guys sexually the way you do means you are not bi.
So wait, I'm confused with chip comment. Are you trying to say that the attraction I have for women is somewhat of a cover up? That I'm attracted more to men than just sexually and I'm using the term bi to bargain with it? I've had two boyfriends(only had sex with one) and when it was over I didn't care as much as I would've cared about losing a girlfriend. Every other guy was a hook up for oral sex.
