1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Can this all be a phase?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Wasp, Dec 21, 2013.

  1. Wasp

    Wasp Guest

    I'm in my teens right now, and I don't think this is all a phase because I was a tomboy and was quite different from others since I was very small. But I know that someone can be a tomboy without being a lesbian.
    Can this all be a phase??
    *I'm pretty sure that I'm way more interested in girls than boys right now...
     
  2. fortheloveoflez

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Likes Received:
    2
    It can be, but honestly, I think that if you have such a strong preference it likely isn't
     
  3. BookDragon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    4,605
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    "I'm pretty sure that I'm way more interested in girls than boys right now..."

    You see that bit I put in bold? That's the important part of that sentence. RIGHT NOW. Does it matter if in 6 months time you decide you like guys again? RIGHT NOW, you like girls. If you found an amazing girl tomorrow who wanted to date you, would you really want to sit there and think "Yeah but it could be a phase!", no way! You want to take that chance!

    What's the WORST that can happen if you go for it? It turns out you find boys more appealing later. No big deal, you still had fun.

    What's the WORST that can happen if you say 'nah, it's probably a phase'? You wait for ever and nothing changes. What if it ISN'T. You had your chance and lost it. Maybe another girl comes up and wants to date you, but no, it could be a phase. How long do you wait before you decide?

    If it feels right to you to be interested in girls then go with it. Go with it without shame. Without fear. If your interests change later, you haven't lost anything, but in the mean time, you could gain so much!
     
  4. biggayguy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2013
    Messages:
    2,082
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ohio
    I told myself it was a phase for decades. Please don't do that to yourself. Go with what you feel. I lost a chance with many guys because I thought it was a phase. Not only that I hurt a few women by not being real.
     
  5. Wasp

    Wasp Guest

    Thanks for all your advices
    Yes, all that matters is how I feel NOW! :slight_smile:
     
  6. Kasey

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,385
    Likes Received:
    162
    Location:
    The Commonwealth of Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Don't fight how you feel, I did for almost a decade.
     
  7. BookDragon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    4,605
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That's the spirit!
     
  8. Dani9

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2013
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    0
    You know, everything can change... But, as far as i know, sexuality is something given, it can not be changed under external circumstances, that's what my biology teacher told me. So i thought i just have to figure it out. To try to be as honest as i can with myself.

    I've always been a tomboy, too, but i also "married" my second wife at the age of 14... Haha. The first one i married somewhere around 10. I'm 17 now and still used to think, that probably... Well, everything is possible... Maybe i'm confused and it's a phaaase... I was thinking that way lately, but now i don't. A phase lasting for more than 4 years?.. Well. What kind of phase is this?

    I guess i'm just lesbian and that's it.

    Try to test yourself mentally. Try to force yourself to like guys, to think they are attractive. Imagine yourself marrying a guy in the end and settling on it. Just to see if you can do this. That's what i did, like, a lot when i tried to figure out things. I tried hard and failed at everything, so now i'm pretty sure it's not just a phase. Good luck:slight_smile:
     
  9. MossyCave

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2013
    Messages:
    161
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Just don't go hoping it's a phase. The chance it might be is a small one, and if it is a phase then someday you might even miss being a little gay :slight_smile: I think the word "phase" invalidates real feelings, whether your feelings for girls stay or go, they were still there once and they were real :slight_smile:
     
  10. Wasp

    Wasp Guest

    Thanx again everyone :grin: