The only girl I am out to and I have been considering dating. But since neither of us are out or ready to come out, we would have to do it in secret. We are only on eighth grade. We both really like each other and text all the time, dating in secret for us wouldn't be much different than what we have right now. Still, I want to date her but at the same time I don't. My friends all think I'm straight and in love with our mutual friend (who I still like a lot) so I couldn't tell them about her when they chat about their boyfriends. I don't want to come out yet. What should I do? Have any of you guys dated in secret? In middle school?
I didn't but, I can tell you, as long as you guys are discreet there shouldn't be any problems.. I mean, no sending cute love messages in class, no romantic looks, no kissing around or in school, even if you are hiding etc... I think it's the only way you two could date without anyone knowing... it Is gonna be hard, you have to make sure you both are ready for that
I was 17/18, when I started dating my best friend in secrecy. And even though, I was out to my family, she was not, so we maintained a called 'friendship' around her family. No one ever suspected a thing (except for her sister.) After a while she eventually stopped with her crazy, but true accusations. You are pretty young, so be really careful because people can be really mean including family. If there's a trusted adult you can speak to, then perhaps you can confide in them. When I came out to my older sisters, they were supportive, all except for one. It hurt me a lot, but that was before, when I had little to no confidence in myself. As I got older, things got better and I didn't have to hide who I was anymore. Hiding who you are can make you feel ashamed, so take your time. If you don't really want to date this girl then wait until you find someone that you truly like.
Take it easy and do what you both feel like. It is natural for 2 girls to be affectionate with each other even if they are straight, so don't worry about being a little too close in public - you can just laugh it off as friendly messing about.
Thanks guys! This was helpful. I'm not sure if we'll date. Maybe when we're older or out. We're both bi so we can just have boyfriends for now.
Two of my friends dated secretly for nine months, then finally started coming out only to friends. It's a very, very stressful situation, mostly because joy wants to be shared. But i think the most important thing is that the joy is there, because it is obviously worth it. And when i'm talking about my friends dating, they are still together, they just celebrated a year of secret joy it can be done.
This is so true! You can get really affectionate in public without being seen as "gay". I mean, there are straight girls in my school who basically hump each other in the school corridors, and people find it funny, and laugh it off. No one (except for me, but I'm weird!) find it weird (except for an old teacher that told them off, but shit happens)
Ive tried every technique and received two kinds of messages: The first kind ridiculed me for expecting me to find a relationship online. i was told repeatedly that online "dating" sites are nothing more than hookup sites and i should go find a man at church. The second type of message i received (despite being specific and positive ) was request for trains, threesomes , and gang bangs, and bukkake. I finally vowed to never try online dating again. its a waste of money and precious time. I think i will find my life partner by volunteering
