Sorry for the title and long post, things aren't that simple but I wanted to grab attention. I identify as a gay man, I'm 24 and just came out but am yet to have sex with another man. I had really had no sexual encounters til my first girlfriend at 18 when I got through things by imagining I was with a guy but I never was able to come with her. This is when I realised I was gay. I was deeply depressed so struggled with it for a while. I had sex with other women but never came and eventually found it difficult to get aroused. Throughout this time I would fantasize about sex with men and pleasure myself anally (when I was alone), I decided that gay was definitely for me and I would come out when I overcame depression. I've since overcome depression and I came out of the closet about 4 months ago, although it has been hard meeting guys. I haven't even kissed a guy yet and am getting lonely. Over the past few weeks I have noticed my sex drive decrease and I just don't feel as erotic about sex with guys (or anyone) now. I had a panic attack thinking that I might be straight, or thinking I might never be able to enjoy sex with anyone at all. The idea of sex with guys is scary now because I'm afraid I won't get aroused. Now I have felt my sense of eroticism completely drop all together. I feel like I could be depressed again from being so lonely and maybe that has dampened my sex drive, but I am afraid that maybe guys aren't for me either which really scares me. I really do feel gay and I want to be in sexual relationships with men. What do you think, gimme some ideas here!?
Well, since females didn't do anything for you and you're convinced they still don't, or at least you didn't explicitly say that since you've started to question yourself again you'd given women another go and still nothing, and you never actually knew if males actually do anything for you because you've never been with one, I would guess that since you're freaking out and think nobody, male or female, does anything for you, it's possible you're asexual. Long, run-on sentence for the lose.
Probably not what you want to hear. But sex for me is to be saved for the one you love. And in my opinion you really do not have total control if who you fall I love with. You need to just make friends who you can be yourself with and hang out. Don't try so hard and it will happen. It may be a girl it may be a guy. I classify myself as a straight male because I am faithful to my wife. But I could have easily have fallen in love with a transgender male. Or even just a male. If you are open to anything then you have the best chance for love.
It sounds like you're depressed, not straight. I'm a bit younger but still on the same place where you are. Why don't you try doing what I'm trying to do as well; try and build up your confidence, take the initiative and go places by yourself and try to feel good with yourself. Happiness comes from within and we also shouldn't be in a relationship because we need to, but because we choose to. Be proud about yourself for discovering who you are! Hope this helps. Merry Christmas, I wish you all the best
It sounds like you're "testing" yourself too much, i.e. you don't get turned on, you freak out, you think about sex with the other gender, you get turned on, you freak out. Stop freaking out! You only talk about sex in your post, but how do you really feel about men and women? Was not being able to come with your girlfriend and then being able to come thinking about guys the only reason you thought you were gay? It sounds to me like you had a false alarm, but then again I don't think there's enough info to go on. It's okay if you're straight too. You sound really conflicted, and I know its hard but the best way to go about it is to not think about it too much.
