Hello guys... I'm new here, so I don't know so well how this works, but, whatever... :lol: I'm experiencing some confusing thoughts... I am a really shy guy, with a few friends. I thought I was straight, but I've always felt some kind of attraction to men, but I like girls too. So, I've been avoiding that, but, in the last few weeks, I've felt the need to watch Bisexual porn (and I watched it), but I'm not sure... I'm 0 sure, I'm so insecure... I am taking it easy, but I'm scared, i feel in my stomach something that doesn't let me be calm and happy... I don't know how to deal with this. ----The past two years I had a relationship with a girl (my first girlfriend), whom I was very rude and an idiot... we had sex, a lot... But at the end of the relationship I realized I loved her, but I couldn't do much, I cried and begged to her; everything ended but we still being friends, and i still missing her---- Nobody knows... And I don't know if I should tell this to a friend I have. (She's lesbian and she's close to me) Thanks...
Those first feelings that we have that we might be Bi or Gay can certainly be a little confronting and confusing for some people. One thing I was rather quick to realise is that even though our sexuality is a huge defining feature of who we are, there is no need to be in a rush to understand it. So long as we don't let that lack of understanding create fear and uncertainty to the point of ruling our lives and stopping us from living. That's the main thing I like to tell people who are confused about such things. It's ok to not completely understand something about ourselves for awhile, worrying often only serves to hold us back. Take time to think about and explore the possibilities, don't feel the need to force yourself into a predefined little box. You mention watching Bi Porn, while it might be a small indication of having some underlying "Bi-Ness" it generally not a rule that you are Bi/Gay if you watch said porn. I think you will need to take some time to consider the attraction you mention having towards men to find out how deep it is. It *may* simply be a strong show of admiration/bromance mixed with a hint of confusion. If it's a physical or sexual thing it *may* possibly always just remain a sexual connection and nothing major will come of it, or be a "curious phase". If however it is more emotional/romantic and you can see yourself being in a relationship with a guy then you *may* be Bi. In time you will start to have a better understanding, it will just take you awhile to short through your thoughts. There's no need to rush it and no reason to feel afraid, ashamed or anything else you can possibly feel. As for talking to your friend, if your close and feel you can trust here then I'd defiantly recommend telling here. Having a real person to talk to about these things is a huge help, and she should at least be empathetic to your feelings given her own sexuality.
Thanks man, you've given me a little of peace... I still worrying about this a lot... but you're right. I hope this whole thing will get better...
Well, I can't give you any definitive answers. FWIW, I think you could be bi if you've found attraction for men long-term, but the best thing is to let it be. I think if you're too persistent or hasty in chasing after an answer it can get unhealthy, to the point where your confusion just gets you down far more than is necessary for the issue. I haven't been as obsessive as many in the questioning process, but if you feed the fire so to speak it can get really crappy sometimes and keep you up at night. So, imo the best thing to do whatever the outcome is let the answer come to you, not try to drag yourself to it. It's not an answer that can be obtained through reason or reflection effectively, and I don't think it's something that can be accelerated or modified just by thinking about it. But the answer will come eventually, and it doesn't matter or change you whatever it is. I'm not saying disregard the issue entirely, just don't try and force an answer, because it seems to me the answer won't come until you're ready. Basically, just calm down, go with the flow and whatever you enjoy, and don't think about it too much.
