My sexual and romantic orientation is different?

You wouldn't be fine living a lie and pretending your whole life just to satisfy societal expectations that you should grow up and have a man/woman marriage. You think you could do it now but it won't last. You will eventually withdraw from sex, both your partner and yourself will resent one another, one of you will have a wandering eye because someone's needs won't be met. It's unfair to get married to someone who you aren't sexually attracted to. You need to do what makes you happy, life is too short for anything else.

 

What makes you so sure you'll never find a girl you're emotionally attracted to? There's bound to be a number out there.

In any case, I probably agree with the other poster. Going into a marriage is all good in theory but it could begin to break down. If you're with an open-minded guy, though, you could explain to him your feelings and propose that you can be with girls to satisfy your physical urges but remain committed emotionally to him. Far from ideal, but such arrangements do exist. But yes, I think it would be better if you told him in the long-term. If he ever found out after you hadn't told him, he would not only face the blow of the issue you described but also the fact that you weren't honest with him in the first place. That's not fair on him if that situation arises.

 

It's really common for people just realizing their sexual orientation to think they might be homosexual and heteroromantic. And I'm not saying it never happens, but I think it's pretty rare.

Because romantic attraction is less visceral than sexual, and because we're raised with so many societal expectation of the sort of person we ought to fall in love with, it's much easier to believe that only the opposite sex can satisfy our romantic urges than it is to imagine being with someone of the same sex.

 

This was kind of my life for the past several years, but with the sexes reversed. I love women and definitely do not feel a disgust for the female body. Just the same, I am only aroused by the thought of having sex with men, so when I was "performing" with my wife, I was really performing. For my part, because she completed me in so many other ways, I learned to more or less accept sleeping with the "wrong" sexual partner. (Sometimes, I would need to augment my satisfaction with secret masturbation.)

Then again, perhaps my charade was ultimately selfish, as my wife often expressed dissatisfaction with our sex life. (Tried as I did, it's wasn't always possible to avoid the impression that our lovemaking was a chore for me.) Though this ultimately wasn't a factor in the dissolution of our marriage, it seems to have likely contributed to her unhappiness within it.

So my advice would be either: 1.) don't rule out eventual emotional connection with a female; 2.) consider an open relationship with a man whom consents to your having women on the side. I happen to know of a great many relationship like the latter and at least most of them seem quite happy. (Truth be told, I think most men are excited by the idea of their woman being with other women and don't take it as a blow to their ego.)

 

Would you be okay with a 3-way relationship perhaps? There is probably a lot of guys who wouldn't mind you having another girl in the relationship to say it like that (though of course it would be important to only do that with people you reaaaaaaaally trust and probably at a later age too to avoid teenage jealousy and such).

 

Yeah I agree with the other posters. In my personal experience, I first thought that I was a homosexual heteromantic and thought that I could never experience feelings for another girl. But then one day I did. I met this girl and thought ' wow I would love to be your girlfriend '. Since then I have experienced romantic feelings towards other girls and discovered that I never really wanted to br I'm a relationship with a guy. I personally feel like if you are sexually attracted to the same sex only then you will eventually have romantic feelings for them. So don't count girls out for romance.

 

I think 15 is too young to give up hope that you can be romantically and sexually attracted to the other person.

First of all, as others have pointed out, you might still fall in love with a girl. I've known a couple of adult women who thought they were straight , but then ended up very much in love with a woman. So it could still happen to you. Heck, I'm 36, and I still wouldn't completely rule out the possibility that I could fall in love with a woman even though my romantic attractions have only been to men before. My husband looked and sounded completely different from the type of guys I fell for before him, so who's to say the same thing couldn't have happened to me with a woman?

Secondly, is it possible you might be bisexual? I identify my sexuality as bi largely because I still have a satisfactory sex life with my husband even after 14 years of being together. I think if I was purely homosexual, it most likely wouldn't have worked. Yet, if I had access to today's internet and was questioning this stuff at your age, I'm not sure that I wouldn't have thought I was homosexual. For instance, I get more easily aroused when I look at pictures of naked women than when I look at pictures of naked men. Gay porn with two men doesn't interest me, but lesbian porn seems really erotic.

At 15, you've got plenty of time to experiment and try things out with both genders. You can see what works and doesn't work for you. I wouldn't let yourself get discouraged so soon.

 

So you sexually like people who are biologically female and you romantically like people who identify as male? Would you say that you are attracted to trans*males/FtM? ... Maybe?

I can sorta relate because my sexual and romantic orientations are different too, but not as drastically so...

Ace of Hearts
(*hug*)