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Confused. Help Please!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by staffOfCaduceus, Dec 30, 2013.

  1. staffOfCaduceus

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    Hey all, I'm new here!

    So in short, I'm confused about my sexual orientation.

    I am sexually aroused by gay images, and have had sex with men, and a relationship with another guy (which basically ended due to distance).

    BUT, I can't imagine life with another man ever. I can only imagine life in the future as married to a woman, and children of my own. Also more and more, I've grown VERY close emotionally to a girl, and could see myself with her for the rest of my life, but I'm not sure if I could ever do anything physical with her.

    Complicating all of this is the fact that I'm from an ethnic minority religious immigrant family, who would probably never accept me as gay -- it's hard for me to even accept that I could be gay. My family and religious community are incredibly important to me, and I want my life to include them no matter what.

    I don't know what all of this means -- am I gay (and therefore should end any attempt at a relationship with this girl)? Am I bi? Am I some messed up straight guy?

    Thanks.
     
  2. Simple Thoughts

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    Ummm from the way it sounds, and for the life of me I can't remember the term for it, you are sexually attracted to men, and romantically attracted to women.

    I'm pretty sure this has a term, and hopefully someone else who posts here remembers it since I cannot at the moment.

    I'm sorry to hear about your issues and concerns with family. :frowning2:

    I hope this was helpful.
     
  3. StephenSC

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    I'm sorry to hear that you feel you would have trouble being accepted if you *were* gay, I hope it isn't something that is affect your self image. All I will say is try not to worry about the opinion of others, at the end of the day you need to live with yourself before you can life with anyone else. Make you happy, then worry about others.


    There are a lot of different terms to define peoples sexuality... even then there are a lot of people who probably blur those lines as well. Everyone is different so I wouldn't say anyone is a "messed up" or "confused" anything as part of their sexuality... Though they may just be momentarily confused. (Raises hand)

    I'm not a big fan of terms (I just can't see how a few words can sum up something as complex as our sexuality). That being said I understand the need to let others (and sometimes ourselves) know who we are in a simple way. It would take a life story otherwise. Just don't feel forced to fit into a category that doesn't suit you. And don't feel like you can't change it if you want to.


    I'm not sure about all the terms and there meanings, I'm sort of new to most concepts of sexuality, so maybe someone can give you better idea. I believe you could say you are Biromantic (Romantically attracted to both sexes, assuming you were romantically attracted to guys (you didn't say)) and Homosexual (Attracted sexually toward only your own) So yeah... A Biromantic Homosexual.


    Sorry I will now address more directly what you were asking, so for your set of questions.

    As your "VERY close emotionally to a girl" (your words) I'd say *likely* not Gay.

    You should try be in a relationship with her if your interested, don't be afraid to find happiness because it *might* end badly. Do not let fear ruin something that could be a good thing, do not let it control your life.
    Try be intimate with her, (once your (both) ready) it might change your mind. Maybe once the emotional connection is stronger you will find interest in sharing that in an intimate fashion. Though if it isn't for you, be sure to be open and honest with her about it and try find things that interest you both.

    As for being Bi, I think that typically refers to Bisexual? So no. But you could make an argument for being Biromantic. (Once again if romantically attracted to guys)

    And lastly you are not "messed up" in any bad sense of the words. The thousands of people who have been on this and simular sites getting help with these things would agree with me on that!