I'm just curious, but when you came out to yourself, what did you realize first? For girls: That you liked girls or that you didn't like guys (and vice versa for guys)? Edit: sorry, that's kinda unclear, but for those who didn't immediately know that they were gay, did you think you were an ace or bi? Just wondering Ace of Hearts (*hug*)
I didn't think I had any interest in sex except as a sometime biological urge like going to the bathroom. Didn't feel anything I recognized as attraction to guys and women didn't generate any feelings at all. If I thought of relationships at all it was with mild contempt that anyone could be so foolish as to waste their time with such an obviously useless thing. It took a guy massively hitting on me, having sex, and then actually initiating sexual encounters with guys a couple times to get me to rethink. And at that point there was still the fact that women produced no feelings at all. So concluded I was gay. Todd
I realized I liked girls first and it was unexpected for me. I thought I was bisexual. Once I realized I wanted a girlfriend and came to terms with it, I stopped looking for guys. Though I didn't immediately label myself gay.
Well it kind of went all over the place for me. I liked girls, or at least I'm fairly sure I did even though they actually rather irritate me and the more I think about it, always have. Then at some point I noticed I spent more time looking at mens parts in porn than girls parts - then I denied the HELL out of that. Than I discovered transgirls. Then I realised I AM a transgirl and a lot of things started to make sense and now I'm basically straight. Point is it was sort of linear I guess, although if I really thought about it I probably should have figured out a long while ago I had very little romantic attraction to girls...
Thanks for the responses! I identify as an ace, which is only 1 step away from being straight, and I've always wondered, for people who are gay (2 steps away) which step came first--not liking the opposite gender or liking the same gender. So I guess it's different for different people! Ace of Hearts (*hug*) ---------- Post added 31st Dec 2013 at 10:38 AM ---------- And of course, as ElliaOtaku said, it's a different experience when you're also realizing that you identify as a different gender! --Ace of Hearts (*hug*)
I just didn't like girls as anything more than friends (and nearly all of my friends are female). Soon after, I realized that I liked guys instead.
I thought I was bi' for several years. Then I watched Prayers For Bobby and identified with Bobby so strongly. It made me realize that I was gay. My last relationship with a woman left a bitter taste in my mouth. That made me vow not to get involved with another woman.
I realized I liked girls more, and I labeled myself bisexual. Then as I got older, I liked guys even less. I now consider myself Kinsey 4 because I still find some men attractive, but not to the point where I'd date one or sleep with one. I find the male dynamic very attractive, but only when a girl takes the male role. Though, that does not mean I'm attracted to butch women.
I twigged on that I wasn't remotely interested in girls first. Initially I thought that I just hadn't met the right one yet...Then the light bulb went on and I started to work everything out.
At first I kind of thought I might be Bi, but I think I just convinced myself of that because I was terrified to be gay. Being bisexual where I live is quite common and accepted, but being gay is more rare. So when I first came out the term "Bisexual" made me feel safe. But I guess I just realized that I've never really had the attraction for men that I clearly have for women. I had to be true to myself and admit that I really only like women
