So i finally got a chance to talk to my mom about this situation of the topic of homosexuality and she just, i don't know. She thinks its a phase when personally i think it's not, she told me she's had sex with a girl, but i don't believe it. Anyways, she thinks it's a phase and i don't know whether or not it is really a phase or not. I haven't told her, but i've been crushing for a boy at school and every time i think of him, i blush red with enjoyment and excitement. I have not felt this way with a woman at all. I used to have small crushes on girls but nothing like this; it's just that she doesn't know what i am or what i'm going to be, and to be honest she's scared for me. I even talked to my psychologist and i agree with him that you're born gay and that phases can last years but he told me to wait it out a couple years, but idk if i can. My psychologist told me that these feelings never go away, and that if i act on them, it can mentally destroy me. The main point is that i don't know if it is a phase or what and it is stressing me out. I wonder if it is my mom getting to me or what, but it is just tearing me apart
A couple of things to consider: Does it matter if it's a phase? Just because your mum tried it and isn't gay, does that mean you can't be?
Firstly I agree 100% with the above poster. (So true and so direct, I will not repeat those thoughts) I'm not really a super smart person when it comes to all the psychology stuff... But what he's saying doesn't seem.... right... (Obviously he's got a much bigger picture of you then I do though, plus maybe a little bit to training...) "Act on your feelings and you will forever be destroyed, Muhahaha!" I do understand that impulsive decisions we make can have a huge impact on us if we end up regretting them. With that being said, if you go into something with care and caution, with your eyes open, even if it ends up being a mistake the benefit can be just as much as doing the right thing, as long as you don't feel any shame about what you've done. (Even a wrong answer rules out a possibility) And if done smartly and safely this isn't an area you should feel ashamed about exploring. I do agree with what he said about "give it a few years", but that doesn't mean do nothing for a few years. Just don't worry about labelling yourself for awhile, wait until you have a better understanding of yourself before you start strong calling your Gay, Straight, Bi, ect. In the mean time, if you can (with being uncomfortable or getting hurt), try become closer friends with the guy you have a crush on (don't expect anything to come out of it though) and see how the feeling develop. And if you feel affection towards anyone else, girls as well, do the same there... see what happens in time. Don't rule something out as a phase, or credit it as truth without first understanding it. Perhaps in time you can find a gay/bi guy you have feelings for to safely and slowly explore the idea with. There is also the possibilities that the feelings will fade or you'll find a girl that gives you some epic butterflies! That's cool as well, just keep looking at all the possibilities openly and honestly. You could also look at joining one of the LGBT groups your area for support and friendship in if you feel comfortable with that. Try not to stress about who you are, in time it will be more clear to you. Just keep an open mind and take things slowly. There is no hurry for answers, as there is no reason you can't have an enjoyable life in the mean time.
Hrm. To me it sounds like your mom is grasping at straws and your psychologist is telling you that even if you're gay you shouldn't ever act on it because it will hurt you. Which is nonsense. You are as you are and what you are is fine (gay, straight, bi, Martian, whatever). If you'd rather not have a confrontation with your mom about it, that's fine. You can just be as you are and see how your life turns out. If/when you finally bring a boyfriend home or are marrying a guy, she will probably have to admit that its not just a phase. Although, I would hope that long before then she would accept you as you are. She may be afraidl right now, but that can fade with time and with her getting used to the idea. Todd
If your mum's not supportive, just don't talk about it with her. Pursue your feelings if you want to and see how it goes from there
She's supportive, hell she's the only one who will, it's just im sick of my mom trying to change my sexuality or discourage me of being gay
