Here it goes

Hi everyone. I kind of came here so I could open up in a public setting for a little comfort. I don't really know anyone that I can open up to completely and this seems maybe a bit selfish but it's all I have right now. I pretty much want to talk about how I feel within my sexuality and maybe understand myself a bit more through insight from people who understand.

For the most part, I am sexually attracted to men. I also feel romantic attraction. But this is where I get confused. I am mainly attracted to feminine men. I feel an attraction to men who act very girly and even those want to become girls. I also feel that same attraction for certain women, mainly short thin girls (no offense to anyone!). I have a strong urge to have kids which we all know could never happen with a male so maybe that is why I have an attraction to some women. I've been told many times that if I had never mentioned I was gay they would have assumed I was straight which has allowed me the opportunity to sleep with a woman but have never actually went through with it.

Then there is this..... I'm not sure exactly how to describe this in terms that are not offensive so I will try my best to explain it. I could almost describe my attraction to most women as very non-existent. It would be like having relations with a cardboard box or something lol, like I said no offense! But about half of the time I have that same feeling toward men. A feeling like I could go on the rest of my life without ever talking to another guy and be happy. It's like no person alive could attract me. Sometimes it is very frustrating. I actually deal with this quite often.

So I'm pretty confused about my feelings. I dunno, I just feel awkward when it comes to dating.