Hi all, I am only attracted romantically to women but have been having obsessive thoughts that I am turning gay. This has been exacerbated by performance issues with girls for the first time in my life. Gay porn kinda turns me on but in real life I look mostly at women (although now with despair and even rage because I feel impotent around them). I can get off to both gay porn and straight porn. I am just starting a relationship with a girl I care deeply about but I feel like my sexual desire has been dwarfed by this anxiety. Does this sound like I am gay and in denial? I have no desire for a relationship with a man but because of my performance issues I am attracted to rock-hard penises as something that is unattainable for me. I also don't want to kiss men or have sex with men but I am terrified that if I tried it my impotence issues would be gone. Help I am so confused. TL;DR I really like this girl (or at least think I do) but am intensely worried about not being able to perform sexually with her because of obsessive anxiety that I am gay (which all my history points against). is this part of a denial stage? Any advice? ---------- Post added 1st Jan 2014 at 09:45 PM ---------- Also, when I am calm I am very comfortable in my straight orientation but when I am anxious I start 'feeling' gay and imagine myself in all sorts of homosexual scenarios. It's gotten to the point that I am no longer grossed otu by homosexual relationships and sex but I don't want it. This is totally ruining my life because the question of my sexuality has become all-consuming.
Well, you say you don't want to be with guys or do anything with them. Tbh I think all it is is performance anxiety, it doesn't sound related to any homosexual attractions because unless you're thinking obsessively you don't feel them. Also there are loads of people who've had performance anxiety, it doesn't matter what orientation. So no, I don't think it's a denial stage, you're just reading too much into a history of attractions which don't seem to be there and performance anxiety which isn't intrinsically related to sexuality, only nerves and/or inexperience like everyone else in that situation. Is there another reason I've missed which makes you feel this way, like enjoying gay porn more than straight?
