Hey so Im confused on if im gay or bi. I identify as a heterosexual male, 22, had sex with about 20-25 girls. So have any gay guys had sex with these many girls? My interest in guys never spiked until my hetero friend tried to get with me when I was high one time. Now I think I'm gay and never realized it. I still look at straight porn, tried gay porn no erection. But this thinking im gay is effecting my sexual relationship with my current gf. Like I cant get an erection unless I think about another girl or am tipsy, drunk Im still damn paranoid about being gay. So anybody have anything like this happen to them.
There's nothing wrong with being gay but I understand your concern in the current situation. It does seem that you have attractions to both men and women. The fact that you were high doesn't exactly prove anything, the drugs could have had a numerous amount of influence on what happened that night. I say just wait it out, nothing is wrong with experimenting a bit to be sure. See if you can get support from your girlfriend (if you are comfortable with sharing with her)
I say there is no rush to find out if you are gay or bi. Experiment with it if you wish. Take some time to figure this out for yourself, and if you turn out to be gay then that is okay, just as much as if you turn out to be bi or even straight.
Okay, this to you seems to be a big deal, doesn't it? Well, it all depends on your situation really. Are you a christain, or any of your family? If yes to the first, You want to try to stop this ASAP! Christains can never agree on homosexuality, so best to avoid it if you can. I say this because you will always have the feeling that you are doing something wrong, sinning, if you decide you like guys. If yes to the second, my next question would be if you are close to your family? If so, this could ruin your relationship with them. Fathers usually react the worst, though mothers can be horrible! It is rare, but not unheard of. Your question, to my recollection, was if gay guys usually had sex with so many girls. I have been with a few girls, but I like guys better. I hope this helped. Don't rush into any descisons, take this slow if you decide to explore it. ---------- Post added 3rd Jan 2014 at 08:27 PM ---------- Oh, and not with me. I found out that I was gay while staying with a friend of mine.
Why are you trying to label yourself? Let's say -for argument's sake- that yes, you are gay. So now what? Are you now going to automatically stop having sex with women, or stop liking straight porn, or stop getting an erection thinking about a pretty woman? You might be over thinking things a little too much. Is your confusion stemming from that "episode" with your friend, and solely that one time? or have there been any other specific situations where you have felt attracted to a guy, had feelings towards a guy, or done anything WITH a guy? It is unlikely you are gay. If anything, you might be bi, and I wouldn't even say that based on your description of the situation. Maybe you are just curious or going through a phase. Regardless, you should stop trying to place yourself in a box; it is only going to cause you distress. You are just a guy going through a thing. Talking about it helps, so maybe you can just vent here and see how your thought process changes as you do it.
okay I'm sorry I am NOT trying to be rude. You have been on this site since Dec 2012, I have read your other threads you have started before over the past year and It seems you have the same problem. Have you seen someone about this? It seems to REALLY bug you. I'm sorry about how you feel, It can be confusing at first if you are something other than straight
@Argentum: I really don't think this is a religious issue. Plus he's an adult, so he can do whatever he pleases. My advice is to experiment if you wish, but be mindful of others, especially your girlfriend.
OK, before saying anything else, I have to offer input on the above. No offense to Argentum, but telling someone to stop being gay (if they happen to be gay) because they're Christian is like... telling someone to not have blue eyes, or not have size 10 feet. It's a biological trait and wishing it not to be so won't change what is, if it is. Now... with that out of the way, let's get to the main point of this thread. I, too, looked at your post history, and it seems you've been asking the same question, almost word for word, for the past year, and getting pretty much the same answers from everyone. Perhaps I'm a glutton for punishment, but I'll give it one more try. If you can't take away what you need to figure yourself out from the combination of information in this thread, then you will really need to see a therapist and get professional help, because asking the same questions a hundred times will not change the answer. So the first thing that jumps out at me is it seems like many or all of your friends have asked you if you're gay. This, more than anything, would tell me there's likely some serious question as to whether you are gay. Add to that the fact you're obsessing over it and joining a gay forum, and the question keeps coming up means that most likely something is going on. So first, let's rule out any sort of obsessive traits. I'm the one who talks a lot about HOCD being a bullshit diagnosis, because there isn't any evidence for a standalone form of OCD that only centers on sexual orientation. But there is a (very tiny) portion of the population who have OCD, and one of their (usually many) obsessions is questioning their sexuality. So the question for you is, do you have any other intrusive, obsessive thoughts other than your sexual orientation, and/or any repeating/compulsive behaviors (repeatedly locking doors, switching light switches, etc.)? If you can honestly answer "yes", then it is possible that your obsession with your sexuality is tied in with some sort of obsessive thought pattern, and that's something you'd need to explore with a mental health professional. If there are no other meaningful obsessive / compulsive thoughts/behaviors, then we can likely rule out that possibility. (The fact so many people have asked you if you're gay would also tend to rule out this possibility.) So next, we have to look at your attractions. It seems clear you're attracted to girls, at least at some level. However, denial can be a really tricky and really powerful thing: A guy could have a dozen girlfriend, or dozens of hookups with girls, and effectively use that to fuel the denial that he's gay. The denial can be so powerful that it never even enters conscious thought. Usually, in these circumstances, if you look really deeply into yourself, you can find indications that all is not as it seems: you find yourself distracted and thinking about something else during sex, or you imagine being with a guy instead of a girl while you're with her, or the sex is OK, but never really magical or exciting, or maybe you don't particularly like sex all that much. Porn can sometimes be an indicator, but isn't completely reliable. Masturbation fantasies (what you think about when masturbating while *not* watching porn) are frequently one of the most reliable indicators, but here again, you can often find denial interfering. What can often be helpful is to try masturbating without porn 2 or 3 times over a day or two and consciously think about guys, imagine yourself being with them, them being with you, and so forth, and see what the masturbation experience feels like. Then, over the following couple of days, do the same thing (without porn again), thinking just about being with girls. The hard part, if there's denial going on, can be objectively noticing which one is more arousing, but usually if you are honest with yourself it will be pretty clear; usually one or the other will give you a strong arousal and the other very weak or no arousal at all. Finally, think back to any behaviors you've had that could be signs you're more into guys than you realize: Have you masturbated with other guys in your early teen years? Did you like looking at guys in the locker room or at the beach? Did you ever feel yourself getting aroused thinking about guys? And then run through the same scenario with girls. If you can honestly do the above and objectively think about what you feel in each scenario, the results are usually pretty clear. If you want to try these experiences and describe what you feel, we can probably give you a clearer answer. But be prepared for whatever the answer is, because if we go through all of this and you just post again in a month or two asking the exact same questions... you're just wasting everyone's time, and that isn't cool. So hopefully we can help you find the answer for yourself
Who are you sexually attracted to—guys, girls, both or neither? If you have to think about other girls when you're having sex with your girlfriend, I'd say that shows you're at least a bit straight. If you enjoyed sleeping with those girls, then that's great. If you'd enjoy sleeping with guys, then that's great too, but I don't really see any indication that you could be gay, just a paranoia, as you put it. I don't know what happened with your friend, but it's not unusual for straight guys to enjoy other guys trying to get with them—just the other day I had a straight friend ask me to hit on him to fend a girl away, and he told me to never do it again because he was turned on, haha. Sit back, relax, look at some hot girls if you want and look at some hot guys if you want. The only problem here is that you're worrying about something so much that might not even be an issue.
I agree with chip on the first part, thats all I read. Im in the same boat as you man. asking the same damn things over and over again. Its tough, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I talked to a therapist, they will not judge you. It has helped me tremendously. But I do have OCD like chip was talking about, I obsess over everything. I mean EVERYTHING in life, and Now im freaking out about my sexuality. Not HOCD stuff, but im way obsessed with wanting to know and I freak at every little thing there is. And anyone can tell yo that on here because they al know me basically as the kid who posts everyday and freaks out over everything lol. But talk to a therapist, it brings off a load on your shoulders that you never knew was there until you go and talk to a therapist. Yes, i still am on EC and asking questions, but I would be asking WAY more if I have not been to a therapist. So go please! I am soon to be on medication. Its just an extra small push that my therapist said I deff need and it should start working me through this finally and getting things straight. So if thats what it comes down to then so be it. I just look at like this "Eventually I will figure it all out, and if im gay then eventually in my future I will accept it". Its not something to be scared of saying, it not saying you r gay, its reminding yourself that if you are, then eventually you will get over it and live life like how you used too. Or if you dont wanna say gay then say bi if it makes it easier for you. but anyways, Im not sure about your sexual orientation, because im in the same boat as you basically, and I dont even know mine. So me telling you this or that wont be any good lol, but good luck to you.
Hmm I just read the rest of chips post!! That was good too! I never thought about what chip said! But it helped me out just now because I can't even think about guys when I masturbate ate it's always about girls!! It will change to a girl and I enjoy it way more masturbating to a girl!!! Wow idk why I never even saw this or if someone ever told me this. But I can't go like one session without having to think of girls, I just can't to.guys!! Thanks chip!! And to OP! Use this ! Maybe it can make things a bit clear!
