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So Confused

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by potatocheese, Jan 5, 2014.

  1. potatocheese

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2014
    Messages:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I'm extremely confused right now. I'm 16 and I think I might be lesbian or bisexual, but I'm not sure..I might be straight.

    So, right now I think I have a crush on a girl I met at hockey. I was practicing with a women's team that I've been practicing with for a while now. Last year not many of the girls would talk to me, I was goalie and I would practice with them whenever one of they're goalies couldn't make it. This year, a girl on the team who is 22 years old started talking to me and almost immediately I was obsessed with her. I friended her on facebook and would look at all her pictures and I remember my heart pounding whenever she would come up on my news feed. On my birthday she posted on my wall and said "Happy birthday buddy!'' and wished me good luck, because I was going to a new school. I remember starring at it a re-reading it at least 20 times. Then the next day I sent her a message on facebook asking her how many years she had left to play and it turned into a huge conversation that I was extremely interested in. I messaged her a few other times, but I'm always afraid that she's going to think that I'm weird or annoying so I don't message her now. I can talk to her a lot online, but as soon as I'm in the dressing room for hockey I can't seem to be able to talk and I get really shy. She gives me a lot of advice and I think she's so awesome. It's been a few months now since I've talked to her, but I still think about her every day. I'm almost sure I have a crush on her.

    This has happened with a few other girls that are older than me. The reason I'm confused is that I have had a few crushes on boys, but nothing as serious and I don't really think of them so much physically, but I think I just really want to be around them. Also, I'm not very girly, my typical outfit is trackpants, sweatshirt, sneakers with my hair up in a lululemon headband. She also dresses a lot like me and we're very similar. She's shy, just like me. I haven't talked to anyone about this, but it's sort of bothering me and I wish I knew what to do about it. Thanks!
     
  2. thediaryofjake

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2014
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Hello, there. There are a couple of things I need to address from your dilemma. So, you're confused? Sexuality is somewhat of a complicated thing for some. I recommend you not try to fit yourself into a label. I think labels just complicate the problem so much more. You feel that you have to be this and you can't be that because you're that and then this and that and soon you're just way more confused than you initially were. In this day and age, we've been so conditioned to think by labels that we forget that for some people out there, fitting into one label just isn't enough of an accurate self-description. Instead, just go with what your heart tells you.

    You know you've liked boys, but right now you like this girl, so that tells you that you're capable of having feelings for both sexes, correct? Maybe you're bisexual or maybe one day you're going to realize you're a lesbian...who knows? In the meantime, just slow down a bit. You're not going to figure it out overnight. In fact, some people who are older still don't know what they are.

    Another thing I'd like to address is that...and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this chick is 22 and you're 16. Age is but a number, yes, but one can't negate that this girl is a little older than you. Maybe you're just infatuated with her or maybe it's just a temporary crush. Either way, just take sometime to reflect. I recommend you try and join an LGBT youth group and talk to people your age. Well, good luck!