ive been hooking up with this guy for a few months now and i have said i would like to be more then a hookup and spend time with him outside the motel room he says im moving to fast but wont say what the speed limit is. he his 25 fem sub bottom son im 42 vers top daddy. (been in closet whole life tryinmg to come out) not sure on how to handle myself need help please.
It may be that you want to move forward into an actual relationship, but he does not. He may not have the courage to say "No" though, so maybe he's putting it off by saying "You're moving too fast." The only way to find out is to talk to him. Sit him down and ask him if he's willing to talk about something important to you. If he will, ask him if a relationship is something that he wants, because it is something that you want. You may be on two different pages. You need to bring him up to speed. If he wants only to be with you for the hook-ups, then that's what he wants. There's not a lot you can do to change it. Hope you keep us updated, and hope you get some other advice than just mine.
im starting to think im just being played ive loaned him/given him money since hes not working and i can barley get the time of day outta him unless we are getting it on in a motel room i dont mined being a hook up as long as im the only one is it to much to ask if he hooks up with someone else in between our hook ups that he tell me so i can protect myself or is he just a hustler and im a fool? he seems like a realy nice person i know where he lives he talks to be about his family and stuff could it just be the fem bitch in him trying to control me with is hot bod that he knows i want?
giving money to your hookup I doubt he wants to commit, especially if hes only hooking up because he feels he owes you for the money loaned, and then ignoring you. And I think (dont take it the wrong way) because of the age difference, he probably thinks hes got many more men to come, and plenty of opportunities to find someone. The only real question is do you still want to be with him, and are you pissed off. I dont mean to sound insensitive but I laughed at this part
we did talk the other night he says hes not looking for a relationship because he doesnt want to put someone else before himself at this point in his life while not opposed to a relationship he was not activly seeking one but considers me a friend and is not hooking up with anybody else currently and not seeking anyone else at the moment but feels he should be able to if he wanted and if so i should not be concerened because he doesnt do anything to put himself at risk or anyone else and is an adult that plays safe i dont think he hooks up to pay back money i gave it freely and we did not hook up for days later his grandma had died and hes not working at the moment. While i was hoping for something more im happy with what i got for now. my biggest problem is worse and thnat is i have been married since 17 years old had daughter that is now in her 20's all to prove to my grandmother RIP that i was not gay because i thought it would hurt her and what ive done is ruined my wife life by not being a good husband or father sneaking away for a hookup now and again and then i meet Andy and i have feelings like i have never had before for somebody not even other hook ups which have always been much youinger then me . i look younger then my age and it is a very emotional time for me as i feel i have ruined more lives then i have saved and thrown away years of feeling the way i do when im with Andy. With him i feel im me im not putting on a front pretending to be str8 im just me and im happy. The hurt i feel i would not want to put on anyone but when will it stop for me. i dont want to live the rest of my life like this. i just want to be me and i dont want anybody to get hurt, but the only way i see that happing is if i sacrafice my own happiness. i want to experience a relationship as a gay man. I think that is why i feel strong feelings for Andy is he is proud of who he is and is in control of his life and when im with him i feel like im who i am, im me. am i asking for to much to just be able to live a little for me and not what i have been doing or have a created damage beyond repair and continue to live like this till i cant task it anymore
