So I want to share some of my story to really explain my question. Since I knew I was gay I identified myself as a top. I would just look at a guy's ass and when I looked I knew I was a top. Anyway, even though in the past I have identified myself as a top I am very feminine, and have many feminine qualities. I love to be held, to feel safe, and I have always dreamed and fantasized being proposed too. I have always dreamed of walking down the aisle and seeing my man waiting for me. I have pictured myself as me wearing a white tuxedo, and my man wearing a black tuxedo. When I started realizing my fantasies I decided that maybe I should try bottoming, and I have. I actually like it, but I also love to top. Some guys have actually called me selfish in the past because I like to top, but then I am looking to him to be more of the man of the relationship. Now since I am being accused of being selfish should I just become a bottom totally in order to fulfill my fantasy? Is my fantasy wrong? Am I wrong? I hate being accused of being selfish because that is not who I am. I am a very compassionate, and tender hearted guy. Any advice would help me.
i dont see how you are being selfish. it seems that you like to top and to bottom so whats wrong with that? i say just because you are being accused of being selfish, dont change what you like for the sake of a fantasy coming true. you can still be who you are and (as cheesy as it sounds) make your fantasy reality. you just have to find the right someone who will support and help you make your dream a reality
Wow. Thank you so much for the encouraging words. You have no idea how much it means to me to read that.
no problem! just try to be comfortable with yourself and what you like. im still trying to get comfortable so i know it can be hard but it can be done
It is very hard for me anyway to be comfortable with myself. I wouldn't say I am the greatest looking guy on the planet, and I am 5'2 and I am considered a cub. I have yet to find my prince charming because every guy I have met does not look beyond my looks. It is sad really.
try not to focus on looks too much. sure looks are great but that isnt what is going to sustain a relationship. again as cheesy as it sounds, it is what is on the inside that is important because you dont want to be with a hot guy who is a total asshole you know?
No, I do not want to be with an asshole period, haha. I have been with a few, and it wasn't pretty. You are right though. I should try and not focus on my looks, because I think if a guy truly wants to be with me, and likes me for me, he will like me for what is on the inside. Once he likes me for what is on the inside, then he would be attracted to what is on the outside, I am assuming.
Let's look at my relationship really quickly. I'm the taller of the two of us. I've got the deeper voice. I've got a terrible sense of fashion. And although I don't exactly tell the world about it, I'm usually the top. Given that, some people would consider me the "man" of the relationship. But hold on. My partner actually works more than I do, and out-earns me by a fair amount. I tend to do most of the cleaning and housework. Given that, some people would consider me the "woman" of the relationship. Fact is - neither of us cares which of us is the "man" and the "woman". Don't bother feeling you have to top or bottom or whatever else just because you want some other aspect of the relationship to go a certain way. Lex
