1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

General disposition to queerness.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by schrute, Jan 5, 2014.

  1. schrute

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2014
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi! I'm new here, and I was wondering about something...

    I feel like I'm queer. Not exactly gay, not exactly bisexual either. Just queer. And I feel that way because my attractions are not gender-specific. So I guess some people might think of me as bisexual, but there's something else to it as well:

    I'm female, and although I feel sexually attracted to both sexes, I can't see myself actually being with a man. It just seems wrong to me, if that makes sense. My attractions to men seem to be emotionally empty (although I am entirely capable of connecting with them on a friendship level).

    Now, I should state that I have no problem being female. I feel neutral about it, and I suspect I'd feel neutral about my biological sex if I happened to be male as well. I can easily imagine myself living as either sex/gender.

    So when I try and imagine what life would be like as a man, and get really into it, I can see my queerness intact, my attraction to both sexes still present. But in that case, I can't really see myself being with a woman!

    It's very odd to me. If I imagine myself as a female-bodied person, I can feel my connection with other females, but not males. And I can feel the exact opposite if I imagine myself as a male-bodied person.

    So is it possible that I don't really have a romantic preference towards either gender, and simply have, as the title suggests, a general disposition to queerness?
     
  2. WeirdnessMagnet

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2011
    Messages:
    479
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Klein sexuality bottle
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well... I don't know if there is a name for it or serious research into it, but when I've been reading some accounts of trans* people actually transitioning, there was a surprising number of stories about them "keeping being gay" or "staying straight" afterwards (and being very surprised about it.) So, I think, yes, for some people at least it really works that way. The best I can tell it's not common, and I can't even think of a way you could tell the difference in a cisgendered person, but I'd say it's real.
     
  3. DesertTortoise

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2013
    Messages:
    406
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Philadelphia, since 1964.
    I was queer for years before my 'gay' caught up with me. Straight with sexual relations... but just got more and more queer till that changed, or came out... whatever. I think this might be most common with those who are drawn home with Radical Faeries. Google that if you don't know what they are.