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Why am I so confused about my sexuality?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Str8tLAboy, Jan 6, 2014.

  1. Str8tLAboy

    Str8tLAboy Guest

    I recently came to the realization that I might be gay. For the longest time I just thought I was curious but recently I have had this feeling in my stomach that I have never had before and I have started getting attracted to men. I have been watching gay porn for over 10 years but I have been watching straight porn too. I thought it was just a phase but it recently became a reality that I might not be straight. I am having a tough time dealing with all of these emotions and feelings. Im not sure if I want to be gay just because of the coming out to everyone and the fact that I have liked girls before. Im so confused....
     
  2. Trooper

    Full Member

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    Pretty much the same situation as me. I've been thinking that I'll just be more open to meeting guys, and if I fall in love and enter a relationship with someone, I'll then feel more comfortable about coming out. Maybe if being in the closet interferes with finding someone, I'll consider coming out before entering a relationship. Otherwise it's just confusing because at this point I wouldn't know whether to come out as gay or bisexual, and I would hate to come out as bisexual only to go "full gay" later on, or vice versa.

    I have pretty much accepted my feelings though, which you seem to have issues with still (and that's completely natural, it's part of the process). For me, reading about guys in similar situations here at EC helped me out a lot. Some of the love stories are really touching, haha. After a while I just realized I don't want to put self-imposed limits on my potential for love and happiness, and others around me will simply have to adjust (when I'm ready to come out) if they want to be part of my life.

    Your confusion is a normal stage of the coming out process. We live in a heteronormative society, where being attracted to the same sex is still frowned upon by many. So it's not at all unexpected that so many gay/bisexual people start off as "straight", and will attempt to live as straight for as long as that is possible. I would also watch a lot of straight porn along with gay porn, but since I've recently accepted my same-sex attractions, I've pretty much watched gay porn exclusively. Only when we stop putting these constraints on ourselves can we figure out who we truly are, and become happy.

    Hope this helps. Sorry for the rambling.