I think I know what I am, but I'm just too afraid to admit it to myself. I'm only really physically attracted to girls. I check out girls, I think about girls when I.... yeah. I feel a physical draw to girl that I don't feel with guys. So it's girls. But something just doesn't seem right. Sometimes, I really like the idea of having a girlfriend to hold, cuddle, ect. But sometimes, I really just want a guy to hug, comfort, and protect me. I should add that every time I've been upset, it's never been a girl that I ran to for comfort. It's always been guys. I don't know if I could ever be happy in a relationship with a girl, because I can't imagine wanting a girl to comfort me in my weakest moments. I've had many traumatic relationships with girls in the past (both verbally and mildly physically abusive). Yet, I've also had really traumatizing experiences with guys too, and I still trust guys more. I mean, I had my father verbally abuse me for two years and then I spent last year watching him die (he died two days before Thanksgiving). This was right after my best guy friend of eleven years ditched me. But through all of that trauma, it was a dojo full of guys that helped me through it. Am I just a damaged lesbian? I can't stop wondering if I'm actually straight or at least bi, and don't know it. Has anyone here been through something similar?
i haven't personally, but it sounds like you might like guys, maybe you are just curious? but don't go by my word, i don't understand very much either to be honest. have you been in a relationship with a guy like in the last year? if not then maybe not?? sorry i'm not much help X_X
Damaged implies there is something wrong with you, and there isn't! Don't tell yourself that Anyway, you seem to be more attracted to girls, but more comfortable with guys. Which makes sense to me from one single sentence fragment. "it was a dojo full of guys that helped me through it" I don't know what you train in, but I've found that the people like that, you have to bond with because you need to trust them. You become like family after a while! So it makes sense to me that you would find guys easier to trust (or at least these guys) even though you've had bad experiences with males in the past! Do you have that same sort of trusting environment with girls? Perhaps what makes the difference is that you don't have that same experience, and so in your head you are equating a lack of experience with an impossibility of gaining experience!
