I started questioning my self when I was in grade 8 because facebook gave me an app that "predicts your future" and it said "In 30 years you will be " and then on the bottom it said gay. Since then I started to pick up on all of my gayish qualities if you will. It kinda freaked me out so I went to YouTube for help and I found a bunch of channels dedicated to talking abt lgbt issues, I found that I was similar in a lot of ways to the girls on the channel same interests view opinions humor ect. And now 3 years later I pretty much know I'm queer and the only place where I feel like I can be me is at hockey, and if you didn't know A LOT of girls that play hockey at 16 are gay or closeted, it's basically a lesbian hot spot. But the weird thing is... I've never liked somone I've never in my life been attracted to a person, but I like the idea of being attracted to someone. I think if I was though it would be a girl so theres that. I don't know if I'm just a late bloomer and I'm straight and just started jumping to conclusions, if I'm gay but not ready to tell anyone, or if I'm asexual and just don't feel attraction to people. That's the first time I've thrown that option in there and I feel like it .... Fits. Did I just solve my own question? :dry:
I totally see where you are coming from and while I'm afraid I can't be of much help, I can tell you that you're not alone. I'm new to all of this myself, so I'll just try and share my thoughts, maybe you can take something from that?! I feel the same way you do in a lot of the points you mentioned. That's how it was for me, too. Once it occured to me that being gay was a possibility, I read a lot online and watched a lot of videos on youtube, too. And to be honest, a lot of the stereotypical stuff just hits home. But then again most of those vids conveyed a message like: That's all very well, but it doesn't mean anything if you don't have feelings towards women. And that really got me thinking, cause I'm very confused about that part of myself... So I guess in this regard you're one step ahead of me realizing you're actually queer =) I think I might have felt attraction towards other girls, but not in a sexual way, but more like being very interested in them and wanting to get to know them and spending time with them, you know... and as a conclusion I also asked myself, if that means that I'm asexual, but I for myself thought I'm not, because, like you said too, I have the desire to be with someone and to be intimate with someone and I thought that's not the case if you're asexual?! But maybe I just got the whole asexual-thing wrong, I don't know...
Wow, you sound a lot like me. My questioning period also begun with something other than actually liking someone, I was really into lesbian culture, and for awhile, I thought I might just not be interested in anyone... And then I fell in love with a girl. I know that not knowing who you are really, really sucks. But I think that it's really good that you're already recognizing these feelings and that you seem to already accept that you might be queer. Good job you! I know that it can be scary not to have a label for yourself, but it might be good just to wait a while and see if you end up liking anyone or if it becomes more clear that you do not. I wish you luck.
