Always saw myself as straight untill I met him

that kind of happened for me i thought i was straight untill i met a girl. if your married then forget about the guy. if your not then mabye get to know him.

 

I say if you feel a connection, go for it, if it's what you really want~

 

Yes. If you feel he might like you back, go for it! Don't miss out on your chance.

 

I think sexuality is something that transcends labels. You're still you. Sexuality fluctuates.

As for now...well, follow your heart. Life's too short to be anything but happy. Be safe. Make wise choices. If you like this guy, and you feel he could like you back...why not? I know you've never seen yourself as being with a man, but gay relationships are just like straight relationships. If you're not accustomed to them, you'll feel out of place for a while, but after a while you realize how mundane one is. The problem is that people aren't exposed to it as much so when they see it, they have that shock value, but in reality it's not all that different. In any case, follow your heart. Maybe you'll like it...maybe you won't. Good luck.

 

How about a business lunch for just the two of you? You may be able to put some feelers out so to speak about liking him. You might also find some common interest outside of work. Some gay guys like sports, fishing, hunting and so on.

 

I was wondering if this happened to straight males today now i know

 

When you say team manager, does that mean he is your boss or supervisor? Check your workplace's employee manual to see what the policy is on workplace relationships. Even if it isn't company policy, it is usually a bad idea to get involved with someone in a position of power over you. There is not really any chance of being on an equal footing in the relationship. If you end up wanting to pursue something with him, you would at the very least need to switch to a different team. Worst case scenario, the business would ask one of you to resign to avoid a conflict of interest. Do you have any friends who are bi or gay? I think they would be the best person to discuss these feelings with rather than your team manager.

 

Sometimes it can be difficult to tell - there could always be playful flirting without the person actually wanting to do more.

I would recommend talking to him though - a lunch or something like that might help make things clearer.

Do you have any sexual thoughts? I do have a friend who was smitten with another guy - nothing sexual just felt that he connected with him in a strong way. It did confuse the heck out of him at first but afterwards realised that he just really liked the guy and only as a friend. They are now great mates.

Not saying this is your situation - just that there are many variables.

Good luck - I love that feeling you get when someone kind of knocks you off your feet - for whatever reason

 

I had that exact same experience with an owner of a café I used to go to. To the point that when I went to buy a coffee I could barely speak, my legs were jelly and heart zooming around the world. To make matters worse for me he would always come out and rest his arm on my shoulder to talk. He was straight though hahaha

I wish you all the best

 

This is the first post I write in this forum, sorry I didn't introduce myself yet, but I find this topic very interesting even if I'm a girl.
Sometimes, when we find out that someone of our own gender is gay, we as straight people, automatically activate the "danger" sign. As in he/she would hit on us any minute . Even if we try to be as open as possible about it, there's still something there which is not very accepted in our society yet. But... gay people have exactly the same taste and the attraction feeling as straight people and the fact that he touches you or wink at you doesn't automatically means that he or she is attracted to you.

I think that you're very confused at the moment and I'd like to know if you have confidence enough with this boy to talk to him about your feelings.
The fact that you're straight and he's your manager doesn't help :eusa_doh:, because even if he's very attracted to you, he won't do anything that would jeopardise his job and/or would make you feel uncomfortable. So I would say... you need to figure out what you feel and what you want first and then, if you really like this guy, you would need to do something about it, because most likely he won't.

Do you have a dinner or a party planned for the next few weeks? That would be a very good opportunity to try to get closer if this is really what you want (*hug*). And, if something happens, tell him very openly that you're still not so sure about it, so you won't hurt his feelings in case he is interested in you. Good luck!!

 

A couple of thoughts...

- Don't get your meat where you get your potatoes. Relationships at work, particularly between a supervisor and subordinate, usually end badly (with the subordinate getting fired over some trifle). If you find out this guy is gay and REALLY want him, either he or you are going to have to change jobs before embarking on a romance.
- Can you think of other times you had feelings for men? This experience may cause you to rethink some of your feelings in the past that you suppressed.
- The Western idea of "sexual orientation" is somewhat limiting. Not only is it a continuum, but it can be fluid over time. This is an uncomfortable idea, as it implies that "straight people can turn gay" or vice-versa. Though usually, the appearance of a straight person "turning gay" is that they were really bi all along, but stopped suppressing their feelings one day.

 

Agree work place romance between a boss/employee not often being a good idea but that said in my workplace we have had several in office relationships and I can only think of one that ended badly out like 5/6. I think another issue that can come up is if you go public with a romance in a workplace the other employees sometimes start to question the way the boss treats you professionally (ie did he get that promotion cause he is *with* the boss and I am not?) Best to check your workplace policy ASAP before you go further.

I think that often bi people will push down the draw towards the same sex until they don't one day or until the meet someone they click with and that is quite possibly what happened for you. I remember this one girl who worked at a deli I went to, she was gorgeous and extra friendly with me. I would look forward to going in there and when I did I was just blown away each time by how she affected me. I had no idea if she was straight or not but she did seem flirty with me lol. never got up the guts to do anything about it and I kicked myself for years after, it says something that it was 8 years ago and I still remember it clearly. With this guy you know he is gay so you have step 1 covered. Now to figure out if you want to try to do something about your own feelings. From there you should talk to him but be prepared he might not reciprocate even if he likes you because you work with him, he is gay and you are questioning and sometimes gay people do not want to chance setting themselves up for hurt/headache with a curious person (sometimes not always) his flirting might not mean he is into you, some people are just flirty or he might be holding back most of his flirting if he does indeed have a thing for you. I know as a bi woman I will catch myself before I get too flirty with female friends because I don't want to make them uncomfortable so he may do that as well if he believes you to be straight, just a thought.

 

If it makes u feel any better, I'm in exactly the same position, and office romances are not banned in my case... ;-)