Ok so I'm 21 years old - I kinda want to just talk about my experiences thus far and see what any of you think about it... Hopefully that makes sense I was raised in a church-going family and am a virgin as of now because of my beliefs about premarital sex. However, since the age of 14, I've had numerous boyfriends - from the first boyfriend who I shared one peck with - once, to my current boyfriend who I love dearly and wholeheartedly and want to always be in my life. He's my best friend and I absolutely could not live without him. I've had at least ten boyfriends in between - some of who I've wanted sex with desperately and some of who I never even felt sexually attracted to... Like I would be getting bored while making out with them and just start thinking about other things... With my current boyfriend, I was feeling slightly aroused about half the time and bored the other times. He knew all of this and knows that I am questioning my sexuality - but like I said - we're best friends, so he is willing to stay by my side no matter what - even if it means we aren't together romantically in the end.. But anyway - in the last week - I finally began to have a more active sex drive and wanted to seal the deal a few times - but ended up stopping in the heat of the moment because of my Christian guilt coming to get me So I understand that that alone isn't very conclusive - but I'll add this, too: I have fantasized about having a sexual relationship with a girl at least once a week since 14, and usually about 4 times a week. Whenever I discovered the joys of taking care of oneself, I found that my most successful and satisfying orgasms came when watching some sort of lesbian pornography. I have had problems keeping best girl friends my whole life and I think it's because I have come to love them and started to feel jealous of their other friends or I just am not getting what I want anymore because I want more than just a friendship. I also find that when choosing something to watch during "me time," I enjoy the lesbian who tries to seduce a straight girl and then the straight girl suddenly realize she likes it. I think I identify with this because I want to be that girl who gets the chance to find out if she likes it. And also - just because I saw this on a few other posts - I know you can be turned on by many different types of pornography and still be ____fill-in-the-blank___ but it's not just being turned on - I actually think to myself "I want a girl to do that to me OR I want to do that to a girl." So I don't know - I know this is a huge jumble of words, but if anyone could maybe skim it and give some advice - did any lesbians or bisexual women out there have these feelings while they were questioning? Does anyone think I'm just a straight woman who just enjoys the thought of lesbians? I don't know.
I don't know if this is frowned upon here, but just thought I'd promote this in case anyone is online now who has any thoughts. I'm very confused and just wanting to hear someone say "I've been through that before" or even "you're crazy. Leave this site." Just anything.
I started out like this but a little different i would have fantasizes about being with women I even did as a little girl . I've had times too when I was little and i have female friends and got jealous if they have other friends maybe i really liked those girls at the time and I would think in my head I only wanted her to like me . I think you might be bisexual ? because you said your attracted to guys but i remember too when I was a teen I would do cyber sex I don't know if this counted and get bored doing it with guys and would try another guy and another and another and so on When i did it with women I didn't get bored and even stayed with the chick for a long time and even had feelings too then i got to a point where i didn't want to do cyber sex with guys anymore and only did it with women . but that's me . I think you could be bisexual but some one could have better answer than me
First, I would like to say that you're not crazy and you can never leave this site because it's amazing! You sound like you could be bi-curious/bisexual and you're so lucky to have such an understanding boyfriend. Although, it isn't a requirement, experimenting with the same sex could help you sort out your feelings. Can you imagine waking up next to a woman? Kissing her and seeing her off to work? If so then it's safe to say that you're most definitely not straight. I can remember when I was younger, I used have crushes on my friends as well as girls who I admired from afar. Honestly, I think I may have been somewhat obsessed with a few of those girls, but luckily they never caught staring at them And it actually took me a while to realize what I was feeling and what it meant at the time, but I eventually put it all together. And it was extremely scary because I can remember that liking the same sex was frowned upon during my teenage years. If anything, just listen to your heart because it's never wrong
