I kind of feel like I'm a lesbian, but I'm afraid of coming out because I'm afraid of being wrong about my sexuality. I'm afraid of being that "lesbian" who ends up marrying a man.
"I'm afraid of being wrong" What's wrong with being wrong? People are wrong about things all the time! If you go date a bunch of girls for a while after coming out as a lesbian and love every minute of it, and then fall really hard for a guy, did you still enjoy your time with those other girls? Anyone who tells you that you can't fall for a guy just because you came out as a lesbian is being just as much of a dick as the person who tells you you couldn't possibly be lesbian because you once dated a guy!
You could be wrong about being a Kinsey 6 lesbian.... You could be a Kinsey 4 bisexual woman... If you already think you're a lesbian, there's no way you're not.... But they degree in which you are, could still be a debate
I have identified as bisexual before. Now identifying as bisexual just feels wrong. I sometimes feel like I get urges to do things with guys. When I get real opportunities to do things with guys I get repulsed even if I thought I was attracted to that guy.
I completely agree with this post. My whole teen and beyond life I was told I was gay to find out later in life I really am a straight woman. I always knew in my heart what I am and other people did too recognize what I am though this body has the male parts there but otherwise looked female until my 30's which is a whole other story. Don't listen to others, but go with your heart because you know what's inside! If you find you change over time to want something else than so be it! Your taste may change over time like when you were a kid you may have not liked Brussel sprouts but like them as an adult.... Don't get hung up on labels and limit yourself! Life is to be enjoyed! June
Exactly! People worry about the labels all the time but there's no need for it. Label yourself if that's what you want to do, but if there's no label for it then go ahead and be what you are. :eusa_danc:eusa_danc
I agree with June. If you feel confused just don't rush into naming yourself something... Don't forget that human sexuality is very complex and fluid. Sort your feelings out, the answer will come to you
There's nothing wrong with being wrong! If you want to date girls now, if girls make you happy right now then just go for it. That's what is important. It's unlikely you'll end up straight, loads of people do worry about it. If you're wrong it's not your fault. Just do what feels right and none of it will be a mistake. There's no way of knowing what the future holds, so you might as well not worry so much.
There's nothing wrong with being wrong! If you want to date girls now, if girls make you happy right now then just go for it. That's what is important. It's unlikely you'll end up straight, loads of people do worry about it. If you're wrong it's not your fault. Just do what feels right and none of it will be a mistake. There's no way of knowing what the future holds, so you might as well not worry so much.
I can totally relate, a lot of my hangups about my sexuality is me worrying that I'm not 100% sure and that I might be wrong! But someone responded and said - so what if you are? I guess that's true, sexuality can be so fluid. But I'm still not sure! Maybe one day I will be! ---------- Post added 14th Jan 2014 at 12:09 AM ---------- Unfortunately I don't have a lot helpful to add to this thread, but I started a thread just the other day with the title "I'm afraid of being wrong" so I can resonate with many of these responses. So, thank you.
Hi, pleased to meet you. I 100% get you. I too feel the urges to have sex with girls in my fantasies, but when i have the opportunity in reality it always seems kinda weird. I don't want to say that i'm Bi because i'm not sure and i'm scared that i could be using as an excuse, and i don't want to do it cause i think it could hurt the true bisexuals, that have to deal with the prejudice that bisexuality doesn't exist .
Hi there, DevilKisses (an EttyT), I get that questioning you're going through. Mainly because, when I first fell in love with a girl, I opened up to the world as a bissexual. Then, due to family pressure, I went back in the closet and did what I could to have a straight identity - I even dated a guy! But I kept on dreaming of girls, and fell in love with one again. Having gone through quite a hell and maturing a bit, I now feel comfortable with calling myself a lesbian, since the very thought of kissing a guy is disgusting to me, but the idea of kissing a woman is wonderful. I do, sometimes, wonder if I'm not really bi, and then stop for a moment to analyze my feelings towards men - those guys I found cute or datable, did I really want to date them? - and keep open to the possibility of eventually liking one, despite of the little voice in my head that says "guys? Ewwww!". I think my point is: if the extremes (hetero and homo) don't seem to make you comfortable, stay somewhere in between them. It's not the name of something that will define you. It's you that will define you. So, if you came out as a lesbian and found out you're a bi, just change that name as you'd chance from a winter coat to a bikini if you went to a beach party. The name isn't really as much of a big deal as what you feel, so if it worries you, nevermind it. If someone asks you what you are, tell them you're not in the dictionary, that you're merely you. Or give them a more or less accurate answer that makes you comfortable, you choose. Just don't make picking a label more important than knowing yourself, ok? And don't worry so much about the future now. It's going to take it's time to arrive.
Hi! I can totally relate that is the only reason I haven't come out yet too. I think the best thing for me will be to wait until I have more experience with both genders. Seeing as we're similar ages, this might be a good idea for you too. If you feel like you need someone to talk to, you might think about telling a few more trustworthy people, so you can discuss it with them. Or of course just talk to your EC buddies
I think I should get experience with girls. I think that will help me figure out if I dislike kissing in general or just with guys.
This interests me. What's bad about being wrong is that you Feel you can't fully commit to romantic or sexual situations Because we might be wrong and at best hurt someone else and at worst Wreck their lives, self esteem and all that. Response?
I have this same fear sometimes , i'm starting to believe that sexuality is fluid like people say maybe not for everyone but most of us. i came out as bisexual first then lesbian I don't think the bisexual label fits me because i only want to be with women emotionally and sexually .
Mostly repeating what others have said, but... it's perfectly fine if you aren't a lesbian. It's perfectly fine if you are. It's also perfectly fine if you are bisexual, or bi-curious, or anything else. You don't have to be 100% attracted to only females never ever ever look at guys that way ever, in order to identify as a lesbian. And it's not "wrong" to say that you are a lesbian, but have attractions to certain guys. I said this in another thread, sometimes labels suck. If you are going to "come out" as a specific label, sometimes it feels like it puts unwanted/undeserved pressure on us to really "be" that label, and what if I'm not what most people think of that label as being, or what if things change and I "came out" the wrong way? But there is no wrong way. And labels are just words. I've been there; I didn't feel I could tell anyone that I felt I might be bisexual, because the only experiences I've had were with females. Experience-wise, I was a lesbian. But that doesn't matter if my mind and body feel more bisexual, if I've been attracted to a guy and never voiced it... etc.
I think you raised a good point that i can learn from and I think your right you don't have to be 100%
