I just wonder, how can you have a serious loving relationship with someone who is seeing other people on the side? I mean, some people want to fall in love with a girl but have sex with guys on the side. But when you fall in love with someone and u wanna spend every night with them, how could u feel ok about them sometimes spending a night with someone else...?? Even though I can respect it, I would still miss the person I loved, does anyone know how to handle this....?
It really depends on how you view relationships and how you feel. I personally am more of the monogamous type; but I think I can kind of understand how other people might feel. Some people can dissociate sex from emotions entirely, then when they have a partner who is engaging with others on the side they don't seem to view it as "cheating" or some personal offense to themselves. Think about it this way. I assume that you allow your partner to be friends with other people and go out with them to the movies or some cultural events etc. without trouble, right? Well, in a sense you are fine with your partner sharing some emotional connection with others and sharing their own time with others etc. Now, there may be some people who might view physical contact in this way. They may view it as...ok well just as your partner has many friends without a problem, your partner also has other romantic partners without a problem. It really just comes down to the fact that we may not fully understand if we are very monogamous people....but like I said, we only think this way because we may not fully feel the same way as polyamorous people
I can understand that many bisexual people get different things from different people, but I would still be sad if the person I loved was sometimes spending the night away from me - not sad that she was enjoying sex with a man, but sad that she wasn't in my arms. I'd miss her the times when she wasn't there. I'm not yet in this situation but am getting very close to it lately! I'm falling for a girl who has been seeing several other people, and she seems to feel the same for me too. We both know this could be love... But I also think her casual partners are not happy at the idea she may be involved with me soon... Although they all, I think, have partners of their own. She classes herself as single at the moment and so am I. I went and sat with her at lunch today (I work with her) and she was delighted to see me and cleared the chair next to her for me to sit down, which I did. Sitting opposite us was a guy I know she's been seeing... He is bi too, and we had a nice chat and a laugh and he noticed when I became concerned when she nearly choked on a fish bone.. It was sweet, I was showing she means a lot to me without even meaning to! Just wanna know how to proceed..
Not all bisexual people are polygamous, they're not sleeping with other people because they're bisexual, it's either because they're polyamorous or because they don't consider your relationship to be serious/exclusive. If you don't feel happy sharing your partner with others then I seriously recommend you find another partner who just want to be with you. It's okay to be polyamorous and to date different people but only as long as your partners are okay with it, and it's okay not to be okay with it.
Sorry but u don't get it, I've been in this situation before and I am terrified of messing it up!! The relationship is not exclusive yet because it's very new.... But it's headed that way. I can't help falling for people who are confused about what they want, that is my type that i fall for, it's a part of my orientation and there's no way I could fall for someone who's not my type just cos I don't wanna share! I don't think my gf is poly, I think she just needs to decide whether she can commit. And I wanna fully support her.
I realized I had the wrong end of the stick after I posted that, I just read the first post in the thread Still though, I know you want to support someone you love but you also deserve what you want.
When you say several people, how many are we talking about exactly? I'm sure she feels something special/different being with each of these people and what is need to do is stand out. I mean, you are in for some competition! It's time to put on your boxing gloves and get ready to rumble! I'm totally kidding If anything, you have to separate yourself from these other people and show her how much you care about her. It's time to roll out the red carpet, invite over her for a very romantic candle light dinner and show her a side of you that no one else knows. She's wants something different and that could be you She's probably just waiting for someone to sweep her off of her feet. Oh, yeah, bring flowers - girls love flowers. It's actually perfect timing because Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Make sure you ask her out in advance, good luck and let me know it goes.
Personally if she is seeing other people on the side i'm not gonna put my eggs in one basket when it comes to her , I would date other people on the side as well but for me I've give her 2 to 3 months do decide does she want me or them if she can't decide after that , I'm out . That's just me though I'm not waiting for for an long time . and I definitely will not sleep with her if she's seeing other people
I agree with this! Also like some of the other ideas... I think she is waiting for someone special and I think me and her both know that person could be me.... I just need to think about timing because even if she wants to stop seeing the other people (and I'm not sure how many but 2 or 3 I think) then I don't think they want her to stop seeing them! My crush on her has caused some ripples already amongst others and not in a good way.... But at least me and her only have good vibes most of the time....
