I'm not 100% sure I'm bisexual, so that's probably why. But is it normal not even to feel like I'm lying to anyone? I haven't fancied girls in a while and they don't really turn me on, but the reason I identify as bisexual is because I used to have a strong preference for girls, and in my childhood when I thought I was straight I remember having questionable feelings for some girls. I'm really worried that my previous preference for girls may have been hormones, but at the time I "knew" deep down that it wasn't. My preference lasted a good 4-5 years and I thought I was a lesbian. Sometimes I feel like I'm in denial about being straight, but when I step back and try and look at it without bias I know that my feelings were legitimate, and I've never heard of someone going through a gay "phase" unless it was an experimental choice. I think my fear of being straight is convincing me that I am, and making me question my past feelings too much. This is why I don't think I should come out, I feel like I haven't had a serious crush on a girl in nearly 2 years so I'd be lying? This is just kind of a rant. I'm totally lost, and I'm a little afraid of ducking out of the LGBT community when a few years ago it brought me a stability like none other I had ever experienced :icon_sad:
I've never really understood the need or desire of some people to come out. I know this is an area that everyone differs on, and it is possible that when I have a better understanding of my own I might change my views on this (if applicable). I just don't think our sexuality is who we are, we are all so much more then just this one thing. So why do people need to know it, to who us. Sure close friends you might want to tell for the honesty, openness and trust in your relationship, but even then, I don't think it's needed. I also don't feel that keeping it to yourself is in anyway lying or being dishonest, unless it's a topic of conversation between friends or a direct question towards you I feel not mentioning it is simply that, just not mentioning it, not lying. That's just my view on it from an area of limit experience. A lot of people say that our sexuality is something that will slightly change over time, perhaps your lack of interest in girls in the past few years is just one of those ebbs and flows of life? Or maybe there just hasn't been the right person around. (Or perhaps it's something you've moved any from altogether?) Ultimately only time will tell for sure, I don't think you should feel pressure to know for certain one way or the other, just be happy. If you do have concerns about "lying" if you feel the need to come out or talk to anyone about such things why not just be honest about the uncertainty, as it may be, of your situations. Perhaps use uncertain terms "Possibly Bi" or something like that. At the end of the day it's your choice of how you "title" yourself, I'm sure there is something you will feel comfortable with. One last note, I don't think you need to be sure of your sexuality or be of LGBT "orientation" to be a part of the LGBT Community. Most groups would openly welcome any supporters.
I'm curious, have you ever dated a girl before? Don't get me wrong, I know that some people can be 100% sure of their sexuality without experimenting. However, for others like myself, experimenting really opened my eyes and reinforced my feelings for women. But...I am glad that you're being honest with yourself now, and perhaps, you just haven't found the right girl or guy. How do you feel about men, if you don't mind me asking? For me, my feelings towards women have always been pretty consistent, although there have been times when I wasn't interested in dating anyone, which kind of confused me. I guess I just needed time alone to reflect on my feelings. Just keep an open mind and heart and I'm sure you will figure things out eventually. And for the time being, do not come out if it makes you feel uncomfortable. These sort of things take time, and don't worry, everything will be okay.
No I never dated a girl, but I never dated a guy either (except for one and it was the most uncomfortable smothering feeling ever), but back then I wanted to have a girlfriend more than I had ever wanted a boyfriend. What happened was, I was young and decided "I'm going to get a boyfriend this summer!" like loads of young girls do, then I realized I didn't want one and slowly but surely realized I had found women attractive but I didn't know when that started, I always look at that summer as my realization anyway. After a lot of denial and stuff like that, which I won't waste time talking about, I thought maybe I'd try meet some gay girls, but I never actually got to that point because I kind of lost interest. I still fancied girls but felt too apprehensive to meet gay girls, I'm not sure whether this was just fear or what it was. I had always hated set-ups, and I was going to meet these girls through a friend and it felt too constructed for me, but I don't know really. I can't describe how I feel about men, ha. I know I fancy guys, I don't know to what extent though? Like, with girls it felt kind of fuzzy and affectionate and comfortable, it was passionate but also easier to feel connected to them. But when I have a crush on a guy it's different, it feels more chemical but also like crazy passionate thing-to-cry-about kind of feelings. I haven't had a big crush on a guy in a while, I just feel like I'd be able to feel that way. In the way of relationships though it's complicated, I don't know if I'd ever feel comfortable being intimate in any way with a guy, I think that might have more to do with fear though, like a mental block. As well as being intimate, sometimes when I find out a guy likes me there's a voice inside my head screaming "You're a lesbian", so yeah... It's complicated, it would be easier if I could date people but that's not how it works where I live, you date someone therefore you fancy them and unless something bad happens you need to officially dump them for it not to be serious. It's scary.
