Hey guys/girls... I just want to know if this is a good thing to do or not as I am tired of fooling around... family members simply cant help me... So I decided to tell my dad to bring me to a club where I could try and see if I could change my orientation by making love to a girl... any advice would be helpful and this will be my first time experience with a woman... of course I dont like the idea but i'll try and see and tell you guys how did it went. I am also trying to proof wether I am gay for real or not... since its not the end of the world any advice before i'll do it would be greatful thx.
You can't change your sexual orientation. Your sexual orientation is apart of your hormones. Sure you can try to make love to a girl, but it won't change anything. You will only be forcing yourself. It just won't change anything...
If i will change, maybe for a better future and to make family proud... and if I cant I'll just try to see if I am realy gay or not since i hadn't made love with a guy for 13 yrs now... and I am also depressed for what I lived for and done.
In no way should you feel ashamed at all for anything. I kind of understand how you feel. I'm unsure of.my orientation tho. The only reason I do not want to be gay is because I'm in love with a girl deeply, and i want to spend my life with her, if I'm gay that can't happen. And it breaks me to see her with someone else. Otherwise in wouldn't give a shit if i was gay, only thing that makes me confused is this girl. I love her, I was always sexually attracted to girls in my past exclusively. It's hard to understand how I feel about guys. But I'm scared of it fearing loss of this girl. In no way would I ever feel ashamed of being attracted to guys, I just can't loose this girl she is my world. You should not either, nothing wrong with it at all who cares if it makes your family upset? It's your life not theirs!
It's my belief that forcing yourself to be intimate with a female will NOT change your orientation. I see 2 main options resulting from this. It could have an opposite effect as there will be no real connection between you, so without real passion the end result will likely bore you (for lack of a better term) which could only serve to drive you further away. You've already said you don't like the idea, so there is a chance will become associated with such negative feelings. Though, there is also a chance that the sex will at least be entertaining (once again, for lack of a better term) as it is biologically design to provide pleasure, that doesn't however mean you will magically be able to form deeper emotional or romantic connections with females. There is a difference between sexual and emotional attraction, mixing up the two, or trying force one to become both, will end in you being unable to find any real happiness and potentially hurt those you are with (in the case of a relationship). Instead of trying to force a connection take time to try find some real connections, the result form this will be much better for all involved. I think, if you are gay (you may in time find your Bi if you can find the above mentioned connections to girls as well) you should instead be looking at ways to come to terms with that, rather then focusing on changing it. (therapy and a lot of self reflection, ect) There is no reason to feel ashamed or afraid of being gay. If it's who you are, it's who you are. There is nothing that will change that. You can still be happy a good supportive friend, and all round successful and respected person and be gay.
You can't change it and there's no reason to. There's nothing wrong with it. If your family doesn't like it, that's their problem and they're going to have to get over it. What you decide to label yourself as doesn't change who you love. If you're in love with a girl, you're obviously not gay, possibly bisexual.
were you in a relationship with that guy? Amazo, You sound like a good honest human being, and putting your family first and thinking about what they want over your own needs is touching, but you need to draw a line somewhere. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to live a happy life, you deserve to do what you want to do and be who you want to be. if you still want to sleep with the girl its still an option, who knows it might turn out well, but if it doesnt, you can always come back here and tell us what you want to do next.
ok, to reinforce what's already been said: 1. It's simply not possible to change your sexual orientation. Hanging out with a girl, having sex with a girl, getting married, praying, or anything else... just doesn't work. Very solid, well documented evidence to this effect, and *zero* credible evidence that any methods of changing orientation work. 2. It's pretty disingenuous to go out with a girl and have sex with her for the purpose of trying to change yourself. You're asking someone to do the most intimate act one person can do with another, not because you love her and genuinely want to be with her, but because you want to try to become straight. In short, you're using her for your own selfish purposes. If your roles were reversed, you wouldn't want someone doing that to you, so please don't do that to anyone. 3. It's unfortunate that you feel like your parents and family won't be proud of you if you're gay, but the truth is... who you love should have no influence on how people respect and care about you. If it really does, and if they can't change their viewpoint on that, the sad truth is, those aren't people who really love you in the first place, because genuine love is unconditional and certainly not dependent on whether or not you love another guy or another girl. You are who you are, and you need to understand, accept, and embrace yourself for the beautiful, perfect human being you are.
I've tried to make myself straight and it didn't work. Sure I fooled myself and everyone around me, but in the end I am who I am.
You certainly do not understand what a family means to us as they are my heart. And of course the lady from the club doesn't give a damn what I will do since they get their cash in hand it will be ok... also if I told her I was gay she could care less. And for the rest of you I appriciate the fact you help not just me but everyone else and for me its a heart warming just like my family is to me. I dont feel anymore happiness until I know myself what I truely am or for what I was born for. Thank you. With lots of love and hugs Amazo.
I doubt it will work. I tried to change my sexuality by trying to have sex with a guy I loved and cared about deeply. it didnt work. It was awkward, uncomfortable and in the end we were both feeling weird as I stopped it before it went too far. There are different types of love. I loved him like brother. You can't change who you are. yes you can love a person of the oppostite sex deeply, but that is only one part of it. You also have to have passion, lust, emotional connection with that person to call it romantic love and if you are gay, it won't happen.
It's very difficult, but trying to change will make you more and more depressed. At least with acceptance you can change and grow into the person you were born to be. Your happiness is more important than giving your parents what they expected.
Hey, Guys.... I am back just to let you know I am fine, I guess I couldn't try it I meant to say that I couldnt ask my dad to bring me out... So... I guess I'll just live on, I was wondering if I can continue on this thread or I have to start a new thread... I stumbled on something.. and need to talk about it.
Glad to hear you're fine! Talk here or start a new thread--doesn't matter to me. I'll find you either way. But a new thread might attract someone else's attention a bit faster. So what did you stumble across? Let's talk. Also, if you're comfortable, tell us a little more about yourself...
