This hasn't happened to me in a while and it's happened recently but I got turned on about thinking about giving a guy a bj , I have done this in real life once and hated it but why do i get turned on by the idea of it I think it's because I have sexual esteem issues and Pleasing a guy feeds my ego and makes me feel good about myself . If I think about sexual things with women it's because I like them , and genuinely attracted to them and want to be with them . I don't want to be with a guy or spend the rest of my life with one or have a relationship or even sex . I'm not sexually attracted to men . But this scares me I just got use to being a lesbian now this happens and i'm scared for years I didn't even have sexual fantasizes about men except when i was a teen and thought I was straight :tears: please help what's going on with me ?
I think you are overthinking it. Just like straight people can have a homosexual fantasy, homosexuals can have a straight fantasy. It is very common. It doesn't mean that you are not homosexual, and it doesn't mean you don't like women enough. It just mean you have a fantasy, and you may want or not to actually do it. Also, if you actually do it, it doesn't mean you are not gay or you are a bad lesbian . And finally, remember that is always a good thing to have a sexual fantasy. It is good, it mean you are alive. And it is always a good thing to have sex, nothing wrong comes from it. Just don't do it with an asshole that could make you feel bad about it or do something to hurt you later ok? Don't cry please, if i think that you are crying i may start crying too. Which is strange because i am normally a cold person, but on this site it's like i opened the emotion jar.
Straight people sometimes fantasize about the same sex every now and then too. I would go with what you fantasize most about with most of the time, whatever that may be. Also, think about people you are attracted too/want to have sex with in real life. What gender are they?
@Ristampa I'm sorry i don't want to make you cry @SongishQuan I always fantasize about women even when i was a little girl my arousal is even stronger too .
"Pleasing a guy feeds my ego and makes me feel good about myself" You ever feel better when your angry with someone and you imagine you punch them in the nose, knowing full well that if you actually did it you'd feel pretty crappy with yourself?
Don't worry, this time i didn't . And try not to feel bad for your fantasies. There is no such thing as a "bad fantasy" or "wrong fantasy". In fantasy we can do what we want, because we don't harm anyone, and we don't have to feel guilty about it. And if they make us feel good, they are always "right".
Thought you might. How many times have you been arrested for assault since then? Fantasies don't have to mean anything, no matter how good they feel at the time.
Well fantasising about punching someones lights out and feeling good about it didn't make you go around assaulting people, so why should we imagine that fantasising about a blowjob would make you straight?
I thought it was more like bisexual but I saw something saying how your fantasy is what you feel inside and you have no control over when you start thinking about it then I get freaked out when this happened , I guess that I'm also worried that if i change out my label or something but i'm pretty happy being a lesbian and don't want to change .
If you don't want to change, then no, you shouldn't turn in your lesbian card. You are the only person who can label you. Your fantasies do not make you gay or straight, it's up to you and only you to decide if you think that label should change. Sounds like you don't actually want to do the things you are fantasizing about, it's just kind of a power trip thing, which is totally fine. It doesn't change you at all. No worries.
I get similar visualizations: getting pounded hard by a faceless guy, from the back, face against a wall. I probably get these because I was unpopular among boys in highschool (when I thought I was straight but actually bi) and the inferiority complex never left me. Even though I don't actually want to have sex with a guy, by doing so would kill the inferiority complex and boost my ego. I wouldn't feel bad about the past.
I feel the same way I wish I didn't feel like this , I remember my family would tease me about not having a boyfriend or not maturing sexually while they were doing things with boys and how I was made to not feel good enough .
I've felt the same way! I never had a boyfriend or crushes on guys and my family and others would always question why. I'm sure it was meant jokingly, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I wish I would have realized I was lesbian earlier so maybe I wouldn't have felt so bad about myself for never having a relationship.
