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Will friends think of me differently

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by wconfused, Jan 16, 2014.

  1. wconfused

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    I'm so confused. I don't even think 'questioning' covers it.

    If I am, well, not straight, I'd be worried my friends would view me differently. I have an eyebrow piercing and I guess I wear quite grungy clothes, but have always thought I looked/acted quite feminine. I wouldn't want them to think of me as being any sort of typical lesbian if I came out. I just want to still be me.

    Will the girls feel awkward around me? I've drunkenly kissed a couple of them but lets be honest it seems like a funny thing to do on both sides when you've had a few.

    I should also add I've never been attracted to any of my girl friends. They might not realise/believe this though.
     
    #1 wconfused, Jan 16, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2014
  2. AAASAS

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    My one friend who is a guy, took it really well, same with my other guy friend. I told them when I was drunk, it was not my conscious decision, I would still be lying to them if I hadn't done that.

    In all honesty, I was a person who thought for sure everything would go to hell, and become awkward, but it didn't.

    My friend seems to be more accepting of it than I am almost.

    Don't bring up the attraction part, they should know you can segregate those feeling towards girls you know are receptive. I never look at straight guys as an option, and I'm sure you never look at straight-girls as an option.

    So that should settle it, you know the attraction isn't there, it may cross there mind, but I doubt it will eat at them. And I am sure you will be able to explain in time, how you have never been attracted to them because you are friends, and you know that you guys work as friends, and that's how you want and have always wanted it.
     
  3. poison53sumac

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    Are they generally accepting of this type of thing, your friends? I have also worried about this, but more in the context of my parents thinking differently of me rather than my friends.

    I have heard stories of people whose friends do feel awkward and all around them--I generally feel that if this is the case, those people are misinformed or ignorant. I suppose if it comes up you can say, Do they feel awkward around every person of the opposite sex? If not, why should it be any different with you?

    I mean, there's always a possibility of people viewing you differently, but I think in the end it's a risk you have to take...if people are open to your explanations I would think you could maneuver around it, hopefully.
     
  4. SemiCharmedLife

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    This was one of my biggest fears about coming out. Most of my friends are straight guys and most of our shared interests are pretty stereotypically masculine, so I was worried about not being able to be "one of the guys" anymore. Nothing's changed at all with any of the friends I've told so far, but there's still that worry with telling more friends so I get where you're coming from. If they're true friends they will love you for you no matter what.
     
  5. wconfused

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    Thank you all for your responses! Good to know that they might not change. I dunno. I need to work out who I am and what I feel properly first before I start telling anyone, but ideally I'd like to tell one girlfriend that I'm questioning to just see how she reacts and just get this off my chest.

    I guess I'll just have to take the leap!
     
  6. femmeinpink

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    I've worried about this too, as a very feminine woman who has mostly just straight girls as friends. I think if your friends are understanding, they will get that you're still the same and you're not necessarily attracted to them just because they're girls. I'm planning on telling my sister first since we're close and of course the attraction issue won't come up, and then it'll make it a little easier.