Hello I'm kind of nervous about writing about this. This is the first time I have ever done anything like this before. I am totally scared right now at this point in my life. When I was young probably around maybe 6 or 7 there was this girl at my elementary school that I thought so beautiful. I used to go up to her tell her how pretty she was and kiss her on the cheek. Another time when I was in the 5th grade my friend Brandy had turned around and was making a kissy face at me and I kissed her she immediatly drew back in disgust I couldn't understand why it was such a big deal. I always admired the pretty girls in my class complimenting them when I could. I had a friend that I developed a crush on. She was so mysterious and beautiful we ended up getting drunk one night and I ended up telling her how I felt about her which totally ruined our friendship. Right now in my life I have a boyfriend but I constantly think and wonder about what it would be like with a woman. Whenever I see a long haired big eyed pretty girl I can't help but stare. Unfortunatly I live in a small town and I would never want to try dating a girl until I get my own feelings sorted out. I feel like such a big part of me is missing and I wonder about the proper way to go about finding out if I would be better suited with a woman. I even dream about it. I live in a small homophobic podunk town and I don't know what to do to.
What feelings do you have for this boy? Are you attracted by him or do you feel like you are missing something?
Yes I feel like I'm living half of a life like something is missing ---------- Post added 17th Jan 2014 at 06:43 AM ---------- I care about him but I'm not in love If something happened to us I don't think I would even really be hurt
