Hi everyone. First time poster here. I'm an MTF trans* girl and I haven't started hormones yet due to my current situation, which is basically living at home while I save up enough money to move out. I live in a very religious, very conservative household, so there's my background. I've read conflicting reports on how hormones affect sexuality and sexual orientation, and I currently identify as a lesbian, and I'm happy with that. I'm just afraid that all of that will be turned upside down when I go on hormones. I think it'll be stressful enough to come out to my parents, but to come out and then start being attracted to men scares me. I don't know how to shake this worry, so I just wanted to post to see if any of you have gone through the same thing or might have advice. Thanks in advance!
Welcome to EC! Is there anything particular about the idea that scares you? Do you have any idea what set this worry off?
Well, the thing that worries me is how my family would react. I think their reaction would be bad enough when they learn their first born (that received the passed-down first born son's middle name) is actually their daughter. But then for this new daughter to start being attracted to men, I fear that it might just put them beyond the breaking point. So really, it's all just a fear and anxiety issue over something that may or may not happen. What set this worry off? I think probably reading the latest article about Laura Jane Grace, and her saying that she's living alone after giving a few interviews back in her initial period of transition where her wife was incredibly supportive and didn't want to go anywhere. So it's just a stress, nervousness, fear, and anxiety soup in my brain right now.
". But then for this new daughter to start being attracted to men, I fear that it might just put them beyond the breaking point." I had the same concern with my grandparents...so I just never told them about my sexuality and figured they'd just work it out when I eventually introduced them to someone... So would it be right to say that the concern isn't so much that YOU don't want to be attracted to men, but more that you worry what your parents will say if you are?
Pretty much! And I mean, I'm happy with where I am now in terms of my sexuality, so I guess it's a slight fear of a minute change in a sea of bigger changes. I suppose I can't be picky. lol
OK well that's good then, as long as you aren't really opposed to it then that's one big fear we can check off the list. As for your parents and how they will react...I'm inclined to say just don't think about it right now. For starters you don't know if you actually have anything to worry about yet (and I realise me sitting here saying 'just don't worry about it' is COMPLETELY unhelpful, so I apologise for that). Not to mention that if you DO suddenly find yourself liking guys instead of girls, it would make you straight so it's not like they really have anything to complain about! (That was a joke, I am well aware they will complain...)
Hahaha thank you so much! It's still certainly something that it's on my brain-stove (yeah, I'm pretty weird and I didn't want to rip off Sherlock's "mind palace"), but you've made me feel a lot better, so thanks.
My two cents: hormones made me go from bisexual leaning towards women to being a straight woman who is really not that interested in women, at all, in a romantinc way. I do not know if it was coincidental but after a few months on hormones, when you start to look like a woman without really trying, the attention of men becomes very addictive and women become something that is not really interesting on the romantic level. Long story short: if you start hormones be ready for the fact that there is a considerable chance that you will become very much attracted to men, both physically and emotionally/psychologically. Estrogen sends messages to your brain that you are a woman and you are ready for a man to come along and conquer your heart and/or whatever you will allow him to conquer. That being said, there are transsexual women who were attracted to women before hormones and still are after taking hormones. One thng though: it is also *allowing* yourself to be attracted to men that does the trick. Estrogen helps you become more feminine and be comfortable wih your femininity, and a lot of times being attracted to men is part of said femininity. Make sense? Just don't stress it, you are young, when I was your age being Transsexual was not really an option and I suffered like crazy. Love, Andrea
