I have this irrational fear of being bisexual. I just feel like if I'm bisexual I'll be nothing. Whenever I feel like I'm gay I feel strong. When I start to doubt my sexuality I feel weak. Whenever I notice an attractive guy I feel weak.
There's nothing wrong with being bisexual. If that's who you are, that's who you are. What about bisexuality makes you feel weak? I've known some people who didn't want to identify as bisexual because they felt like it was "betraying the cause", or that bisexuality is looked down on even by some gay/lesbian people. I don't know about your particular life though.
Hey there. I just want to acknowledge your feelings. It seems like you feel strong with being gay. And being gay is okay, so by all means, you should feel good about being who you are! But what is weak about liking men too? You can be attracted to women and men. That can be a beautiful thing! The only "strength" that comes from being gay is the strength that's required to survive in a sexist society. If society were truly just, there would be no courage in being a lesbian. There is no need to be ashamed if you have thoughts about men, too.
Oddly enough I'm in the same boat as you. I'm fine with the label 'straight', but unfortunately for me, i no longer identify with it. While I'm uncomfortable with the label lesbian, it's more because I have not yet fully accepted my sexuality. However, past being straight, it is the label I currently believe i am going to end up with, though I am unsure. But for some reason, I hate the idea of being bisexual. I'd be fine with liking both guys and girls, but bisexual just somehow presses a button of mine and I don't know why. Pansexual, which some people think is the same thing, I would also be okay with, but I se pansexuality as a different idea completely, and the way I see it has no similarities to my own sexuality. Demisexual, gynesexual, androsexual(?)... All those labels i'm okay with. Except that I do not categorize under any of them. So while it seems most logical to me that I am bisexual, I cannot accept that label. It just feels wrong, somewhere inside of me.
I know. I'm just trying to work out my insecurities. I don't feel like bisexuality is a strong identity. I just feel strong when I think I'm gay because it makes me feel mature and sure of myself. It makes me feel like a survivor. Thinking I'm bisexual doesn't give me the same feelings. It makes me feel confused and like my feelings are worthless. Whether I'm gay or bi I know that I'm attracted to girls and I'm not as attracted to guys as much as straight girls are. That makes me feel like an outsider.
^^I think I may know what you mean. I consider myself bisexual, but I really often use the term "queer". Because I feel more comfortable with it. I think the reason I do is because bisexuals are looked down upon by most people (gay and straight). We're thought of as "confused" or "greedy" or a whole slew of other things. It sort of makes me feel like I don't have a real identity. Anyhow, that's just my story. Not sure if you are feeling the same way.
