I have considered myself to be a bisexual for a long time, however, I haven't dated women until very recently. Right now, having fallen in love with an older and, of course, more experienced lesbian woman, my world has turned upside down, and I'm still trying to figure out how to be with her. Yet, I think I've come a long way since we are together. I don't feel insecure anymore holding her hand or kissing her on the streets (although we live in a not very LGBT-friendly country), my parents and all our friends know about us. This love feels as real for me as what I have experienced with some men before. There is, however, one issue that makes me worried, even anxious. I don't feel totally comfortable in sexual matters around her. You should know that I always had issues with sexual encounters, I was always insecure, shy, not really capable of being the initiator. This wasn't such a big problem with the men I've been together with, because I somehow always found the guys who liked being in charge of things. But now, not only do I feel incapable of being the initiator, but I can't even reciprocate anything she does to me. Whenever we're in the middle of things, I fing myself feeling anxious, paralysed, feeling that I can't do it. I keep telling myself that I need more time, but we've been together for almost three months now, and even if she's not trying to push me into anything I'm not ready for, I am starting to feel the pressure for finally starting to have normal sex with her. I really love her and don't want to lose her. Why can't I, then, loosen up and not be afraid of *actively* having sex with her? Has this happened to any of you? Do you have any idea for how I could overcome my fears and anxiety? I am grateful for any help.
I have been in this situation before and even drinking a little bit of alcohol didn't help me. The girl I used to date was so freaking gorgeous that I was trying so hard to be respectful. I secretly wanted to pounce on her like a cat in heat :lol: I talked a good game, but when it came down to it, I was so afraid to touch/kiss her. However, things changed eventually, although it took months. So, just relax and discuss things with your girlfriend. I'm sure she will be more than understanding.
