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confused...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by hellopink, Jan 24, 2014.

  1. hellopink

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Okay so this might be a long one but I'm kind of confused about my sexuality..I have this one gay guy friend who is basically my best guy friend and he told me that he basically knew he was guy since he was little, but here's my problem. When i was little i like guys for as long as i can remember. I've had "long term" crushes on a couple guys in middle school (1 year for each). While I had those crushes obviously I was young so I didn't think about doing the deed with them but I definitely wanted to do everything else. Okay so during this time I did discover lesbian porn and was turned on by it but it didn't really affect my relationships with those guys. So this year (I'm 15) I started partying which obviously helps talking to guys (I've struggle with social anxiety since high school started due to bad friendships,etc) and when I'm mingling (drinking or not (don't get mad at me underage pls)) I have kissed guys and wanted to kiss guys at the party. Both felt good. But recently I have become more aroused by the sight of girls. Now not so much as a couple months ago but it's still there. I can get turned on by guys but not as much. I get turned on by guys after I kiss them or when I want to kiss them/think about them sexually. But the thing is I don't feel like having sex with girls. I don't know just the feeling about that. Thinking about having sex with guys seems fun but I'm scared that if I do I won't like it or something. This is because whenever I think that I'm straight, there's always that one thing in the back of my head that doesn't. I'm not homophobic obviously but I don't really feel that whole relationship is for me. But I'm scared because I get aroused more by females as apposed to males. I'm confused if this is a phase or I'm changing but how can that be possible if I've wanted and desired to kiss and have sex with guys in the past. Just my arousal level is so dang confusing. :confused: If you're wondering I have been questioning this for a while but it kind of slipped from my brain when I was questioning while I started watching lesbian porn. I questioned this when I was people like Emily (PLL) and such. But while watching that show I still focused on the guys in the show. Sorry that was really long.