Hey, I'm 16, coming on to 17 male. I've recently been questioning myself (again) I first started questioning myself at the age of 13, in which made me severely depressed i had thoughts of suicide, I brushed that thought off and denied I possably was gay. 3 years later, I was diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety and a psychotic episode. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital for 3 months because I was so suicidal (still am) One of the causes for tge depression is me questioning myself, just about every second of each day, I've told my parents about two months ago I possibly was gay, which they accepted and wasn't an issue, but I'm still unsure. I sometimes find myself looking at a few girls and think "she's cute", but when I watch straight porn I find myself imagining I was in the woman's position, I usually now only watch gay porn. I find myself being quite masculine around my parents and people i dont know, but with my friends, I feel comfortable with, I become quite feminine, wanting to get nail painted etc. I don't usually see people in the street and think I'd go out with them, but recently I saw a boy and wouldn't stop thinking about him, this is the first proper time I've actually felt this as I've never been in a relationship,I'm kinda scared and don't know what to do. If anybody could help me I'd be greatfull as it would help my depression a lot.:help
im not sure if im any help but you say youve never really seen anyone in the street and thought youd want to be with them, i think thats more common than you think. i know i have to have some sort of connection to a person frist (like being my friend first) to be attracted to them, as in relationship attracted to them if that makes sense. i can see people in the street adn think yeah youre good looking but its not attraction. you dont need to be scared of your feelings, you have to feel them in order to grow learn and figure out who you are, what you like e.t.c you cant run from them, well you can but it doesnt do anyone any good lol. let yourself feel, it might help you a little. no idea if this helps. sorry.
