First I want to say that this is not about gay men having a preference for masculine guys as this tends to be a touchy subject among gay men. It's not about them being supposedly more attractive or desirable and I'm definitely not looking for a date. I am interested in hearing perspectives from people different from me. I don't have an extremely strong masculine identity. I usually never care about being perceived as masculine. I suppose I'm kinda gender neutral in a lot of respects. Do any gay men here not feel feminine at all and are never perceived as anything other than a conventionally gendered guy? Do any gay guys here pursue masculine hobbies: firearms, outdoor activities, martial arts? Is this what always came naturally to you or is it something you had to consciously make a habit of? Maybe to make people think you weren't gay? Some of both?
Well first of all the activities one does, does not determine their sexual orientation AT ALL. Second, who cares if your gay and like those activites? Gay guys can still enjoy those activities just as any other bisexual or straight guy could. Therefore activities and how you act have nothing to do with your sexuality. Do what you love to do.
There's nothing unusual about it. I realize that sexual orientation is unrelated to what you enjoy doing. I was just interested in hearing stories about gay men who feel and/or act masculine and how that influences their coming out etc.
I look masculine, and I guess there's not much in me that you can define "girly". I'm not the usual male talking exclusively about girls, car and football, but you wouldn't label me as effeminate. That's why my friends have been generally very surprised when I came out to them. I feel comfortable with my skin: I completely identify with the male gender and I'm attracted to males. That's just it. I've questioned it for a long time, trying to understand the how's and why's, but there are really none.
I'm a fairly masculine guy, I enjoy working on cars, love the outdoors, not afraid to get dirty, watch the game with the guys and play video games. I don't care much for shopping or brand names either. I'll just grab a random t-shirt and whatever else I can find to wear. Haha When I came out to my best friend he was in total shock, he never saw it coming. Needless to say, I'm still just a dude that likes dudes. Doesn't matter if we're masculine, feminine or in between. We are who we are!
Oddly enough, I tend to like somewhat feminine guys and tomboyish girls. I suppose I like people who are fairly androgynous.
Heya Had a similar discussion last week (?) I think about this. I believe I do many masculine things in my life; mechanics, woodwork, cars, heavy-duty DIY... So welcome to the club :smilewave
Well physically I am masculine (for obvious reasons ), and psichologically I have never identified as anything but a male. I like lots of the things that you have listed as masculine, but those things being masculine are nothing more than stereotypes. I would never stop doing anything i liked or that may sound fun just because it is seen as girly (I have even tried pole dancing and it was really funny). Well at least as an openly gay guy do not need to conform to stupid masculine strereotypes uunless I want to... take that straight guys! we all know you love musical theater but you are ashamed to admit it! (just joking)
Ah well I guess I'd be a masc gay guy. Even though what you do isn't really a determination of your sexuality, I only really have an interest in "guy" things. In fact almost all my mates are straight guys. It came as a surprise to everyone when I came out. I guess the best way of describing it would be things just come naturally? I've never really thought of it like that, seems strange to describe the things you do like that. The best thing is I can drink whatever I want without seeming gay though.
If everyone made a list of things they have done and everything they are, some things would be masculine and some things would be feminine. It's sad that guys often feel the need to redeem themselves in the eyes of society by putting such a weight on their masculine side. Last night I was wearing eight inch heels and drinking more Guinness than you can imagine, because why the fuck not? ; )
When I was little, I would play barbies with my sisters, that was and still is the most feminine thing I've ever done. I'm the only kid in my grade with a deep voice and leg hair, and I'm over 5 inches the average height in my grade. I'm probably one of the most masculine guys I know, and I hate it. I hate being bigger than everyone, and I hate being manly. Of course, that's just me. I do not prefer feminism in a man, otherwise I wouldn't chase desperately after them and would probably find a woman. But I do not like masculine guys either. "Bears" (no offense to any bears out there you're still awesome) are not my forte, but neither are Lady-men/transgenders/etc. I see myself as finding twinks the most attractive, not manly, but not feminine. They're a cross between the two Shaved legs, pubes, and face do it the best for me, but hey, that's just me ~Jess
