Hi there. Before I really start this, I want to give some background info on myself. I'm currently 17 and a senior at a Catholic, all-male private school. I myself am not Catholic. The reason that I am only 17 but still a senior is because I skipped a grade. I play 3 sports and am in fairly good shape. I started to suspect I might be gay at the start of my high school career but didn't do anything about it until now. The reason I have is because something, or more accurately, someone has happened to me. And now for the reason I'm here. I enjoy talking to girls but really don't want to date them or do anything like that. I more appreciate them for who they are and I find that I am mostly better at talking to them than talking to guys. Also, there is this one guy who is in my grade who gives me these feelings. He's polite, smart and cute. When he is close to me my heart rate flies up and I start stuttering and not knowing what to say. Every time there is contact, even friendly like a hug after a swim meet or a high five, I feel almost like an electric shock, a warm, tingling where he has made contact. Also, when he smiles at me or laughs at a joke I made it is the best feeling ever, like when you wake up on a perfect fall day and everything happens just the way it should. He was the first person who this would happen with and I would purposely go to math tutoring after school just to be close to him. This happens with more than just him , although he is the closest friend to me so the first person who I realized I was making a fool if myself around I suspect that those of you who read through that are going to say something along the lines of "well duh, you're gay" but I honestly wasn't sure if these things really mean nothing or very little. All comments are welcome and if the overwhelming majority says I'm gay then I move to a new thread I n the coming out section.
it sounds like you found someone who really means a lot and is really special to you. the feelings you described are beautiful and really warmed my heart. you could be gay. it seems like you're more comfortable around girls because you don't have to try as hard or because you don't want anything from them. maybe just their friendship? i'm not sure if what it said resonates with you in any way. sexuality is fluid and when it comes to labels, i feel like thats something that you get to decide whether or not you identify with or not. just take your time and go easy don't feel pressured to claim anything, but if you feel deep inside your heart you know who you are, take pride and joy in that and identify with that...hopefully my response is of use to you and you don't find it annoying.
Thanks, Celestial. Yeah, it seems that I really don't have anything to prove to girls and don't want anything other than a good conversation with them. I had to come on here and post, because I'm sick of having to act like I care about girls all of the time and do all of the things a school of teenage guys has to do. I'm mentally exhausted. I think this secret is starting to do my head in because of what happened this evening. On the way back from a swim meet, I asked him if he was coming to the hockey game as I was excited to talk to him. He said that he was, however at the last minute he had to change his mind due to homework. I was so upset that I nearly cried. I'm so confused because I never was this out of sorts when girls rejected me after I asked them out (a long time ago and they were all mistakes :rolleyes: )
never force yourself to be or do anything that makes you unhappy. there's nothing wrong with you, so there's no reason to suppress your true self or true feelings. you don't have to feel forced to come out, but you don't have to stress yourself out forcing yourself to be someone else either, you know? that's not fair to yourself. and awwww~ i really just wanna take a wild guess and say that you're gay! it seems and sounds so evident but sexuality is fluid and time will also tell with that. but it's very obvious that you really like this boy and that you maybe just now experiencing what it's like to have a crush on somebody. being all out of sorts about them, heart beating or shaking when they're around or near you, thinking about them all the time...mmhm you've totally got the hots for him haha. i know exactly what that's like and can totally relate to your situation. i'm 19 years old and i didn't have feelings like that about anyone until last year with a girl. it took me by storm because i never felt like this about boys so i know exactly how you feel! lol.
