first time having feelings for a guy, need advice

Hey, my story is kind of long, so only bear with this if you don't mind the time it may take. I guess im just wanting to know if other guys have experienced something like this, and if they might reach out to me because it may make me feel less alone. Im 17, and just starting to gain an understanding of my sexuality.

I've always gotten off with gay porn, but I've never had feelings for guys before. Because of this, I've had gay hookups but only gone out with girls. I definitely don't feel as satisfied about sex with girls, but I can get really turned onto them sometimes and especially when I have strong feelings for them. As recently as a few days ago, the thought of falling for a guy seemed impossible to me. I had never wanted to kiss guys or date them. When I've hooked up with them i've either said i don't kiss, or given into it for a minute or two without really liking it. I never even fantasized about a relationship with guys, it was completely out of my reality. On the other hand, I've had numerous crushes on girls and imagined kissing and going out with them. And while I did break up with my last (and first serious) girl just a few months ago, I enjoyed our sex, didnt feel like watching any porn (straight or gay), and had real feelings for her. We had some sex problems, for example I always had trouble staying hard with a condom on but never during unpretected sex, but I dont think this had to do with me liking guys more. Then about a week ago my perspective on sex with guys changed. I was hooking up with a guy and we actually cuddled first. I think the cuddling was a sex turn on thing for him, but for me it felt really comfortable and nice. He ran his fingers across my skin and kissed my belly, it was dark and we were under the sheets. I only kissed him for a brief few moments cause I knew he wanted me too, then we got right on with taking our clothes off and sucking each other. I didn't *** with him at the end, even though he did. The next day I thought about cuddling with him, and though i'd been feeling more and more interested in trying bottoming, that suddenly felt like something I might want to wait on so that it would be meaningful. This passed quickly though, and I didnt recognize it for what it meant. Then a few days later I felt like watching a film about two guys falling for each other. This urge seemed real random to me. The movie is probably a cult gay classic, called Latter Days. I dont know why, but I was feeling excited the entire time to see what it looked like when two guys (although this was only acting) portrayed real love. When I saw the kissing and sex scenes, a light turned on inside me and I could understand what it was like to feel something for a guy. Since that night I have felt really alone because theres noone in my world who I can talk with about this. I debated for a while posting something, and only did so now because the want to talk with a guy about this became pretty strong. Now, when I see girls at school that I think are cute, I've stopped myself from thinking about them because I feel generally preoccupied with men at the moment. Ive even looked at a few guys at school and imagined kissing them, which is totally abnormal for me as I usually just think how hot it would be to hook up and get off. So anyways, each night since I've found gay love stories on film and watched them, and each one has inspired this new feeling I have of being able to feel for a guy. I don't even have a crush on anyone, its just that I know in my heart now that I could fall for a guy. I even went to the library and took out gay romance novels to fill this want to understand how gay people make and experience relationships.
The movies especially make me feel like starting something with a guy. Im planning on moving to Germany with a work visa for a year (I'm conversational in the language after three years study) once im done school, and right now this feels like the only thing to look forward to because there i could actually go to gay bars or be open about myself without worrying about labels that dont make sense. I have no problem with being gay, if I am, but I odnt want to start telling people before I even experience a real relationship for the first time. And besides, I feel like sexuality can be a mixture of feelings for guys or girls, so I probably cant even give myself a common label. So Ive got no problems with accepting myself, or fearing the world around me for that matter. But I do feel alone and like theres noone out there like me, who is just curious about getting to know a guy and maybe kissing him with real meaning.
If my story resonates with you at all, please write back. I'd like to know what anyone thinks about this, and maybe hear some advice on how to deal with this flood of totally new feelings. I appreciate anyone whose taken the time to read this.

love