At this point, I have all but accepted that I am attracted to women, and that guy parts are not my thing. However, there's one thing that's still bugging me. I'm not sure if it's even legitimate, but... I have a hobby centred around a trading card game. This game is marketed pretty much exclusively towards men in their 20s. I know very few other females who play the game, and the few i do are not particularly serious. So naturally, I'm sort of the odd one out at events, which I attend a fair number of. The guys who play this game are mostly intellectuals, with a bit of a taste for art, wordcraft, and strategy. While most of them are not bodybuilders or anything, there are several who are still attractive people. And that's where it gets to me - for lack of better phrasing, it seems like such a shame not to be attracted to such a wide pool of people of whom I would come across as extremely attractive to. As a heterosexual, I could practically have my pick of guys, and that community is a community I'm extremely comfortable in, despite the fact that I'm both younger and a different gender than everyone else. So that's sort of where it comes down to - I'm in the perfect position to, when I'm older, get into relationships with amazing men, but if I'm not attracted to them, it's never going to happen. I wonder occasionally if I'm not actually gay, but a biromantic homosexual. However, even if that is the case, I could never be completely fulfilled in a relationship with a man, as I have an extremely high sex drive, but all the same, a close friendship with a man would often leave me wanting more, despite the fact that I am disgusted by the act of committing sexual acts with him.
Here's what ya gotta do Ya gotta find da man And ya gotta f:***:ck da man Rinse and mothaf:***:ckin' repeat, sista Until ya know fo' sho' that you ain't gonna be f:***:ckin' da men in da future Ya know?
... No, I don't know. Also a bit young for that, and I'm not sure experimentation like that is really up my alley.
Not everyone is sexual nor does everything have to be sexual. I wouldn't sweat it too much, and friendships can always exist outside of the sexual world, you shouldn't feel pressured to do anything that you're not comfortable with yourself. There is a place for experimentation however not everyone does or needs to do that to feel comfortable with themselves. I've never 'experimented' with women and yet I know it would go terribly and isn't something that would work for myself. Everyone wants to belong to a group at some point as well, it's human nature/social conditioning for the most part that realistically you can't avoid. I wouldn't feel pressured to place a condition on your sexual orientation with the people whom you are in a group with unless say you where going out and beating people to death. Even then, there are exceptions notable exceptions throughout history. Anyways I'm just trying to say this is normal. Good luck having fun in your social group and finding someone to share your intimate life with, regardless as long as you feel comfortable. (*hug*)
First off, thank you for replying I guess my problem is that I want to have close bonds within the group, but I want more than just friendships with these men, and yet I do not desire sex with these men, which would be okay as an asexual relationship if I didn't have such a high sex drive. I suppose my optimal situation would be to find a butch lesbian or bisexual just as into the game as I am. That would likely solve many of my problems. However, people like this are few and far between...
I'm not going to pretend it's going to be easy but there are people out there. I've had some very intimate relationships with numerous people, however most of those people were gay. Unfortunately depending on the comfort level of those people they may not be ok discussing things outside of their comfort level. You know them better than I, however sometimes it just doesn't work. They can still be friends, I have friends whom I don't talk about sexual things with; however I certainly need to talk about my personal life. Just get more friends :lol:, The world is an ever expanding place. That's what I've learned .
