Realisation of Sexuality

I think this is quite common. In my case, I've always "known" in some way. *But* I didn't acknowledge it consciously at all until I fell completely for a guy I worked with. It's hard to explain, the best I can come up with for me is "Always known but not *known*".. Confusing

 

No, not really:eusa_eh: i never ahd a "freaky friday" effect ...

I just feel messed up, emo and confused and I am not even sure if i am gay...for all i know i could just be wishing i was a female who is a lesbian(which is how i feel actually)

So yea...i never got up ine morning and ":O i see the light!" nah auh:dry: Have you ever thought of the fact you might be bicurious? Whatever, don't listen to me. I don't think i can answer that question. Maybe some of the other EC members can. I am not an average case of confusion so I would be the worst person to make compairsons to

 

I guess it was never something my conscious mind thought about or acknowledged as anything at all out of the ordinary. In some ways it's funny when I think about how many times I turned my head when a girl walked by or totally fell for a woman but didn't think about it at all. I was straight, I had had boyfriends, so why would I ever even think about it. I have a gay cousin who came out when I was about age 9. I remember thinking, "hm, that would be sort of cool to be gay. Oh well, too bad I am into men." I guess that thought train crashed and burned about four years later....

Short answer? I did have a realization moment, but as I got more comfortable with it I could look back on my life and realize that I have always been gay it just never occurred to me. Funny how you can think about something your entire life and it still takes you nearly 14 years to realize it...

 

i think our born gay and you kind of subconciously know it...but like becasue we have so many stigmas about how homosexuality is a bad thing most of us don't acknowledge it. So you kind of haev a realization momnet just not the one that most people think, your realization moment is when yoru comfortable enough in your own skin to admit yourself you're gay (or bisexual, or transgendered <3 ) , and you can't change who you are. Thats what my realization i think was

Abercrombieboi

 

There's a huge amount of variation as to when people know. There are threads where everyone's posted stories. Some, like you, have always been aware, but some have a gradual realisation or even a sudden epiphany. There's no more valid way, it's just different for everyone For me, it was a gradual realisation over about 3 interesting weeks, then a lot longer to come to terms and really sort it out.

 

I always remember being attracted to men, but it was the point when i stopped denying it that i embraced it. So people just don't wake up one morning feeling fine with it, they just feel more at ease and accepting of themselves.

 

It definitely varies. If you look around this site, there are some 14 year olds who have always known, and some 40 year olds who are just starting to figure it out. But like people said above, it's not usually an epiphany, but just a realization over time because it's always been there. Many people question it and supress it, but in general it's always there.
And many people have found that they have always liked the same sex, but they just grew up with the fact that being gay is bad (I was always taught that) so they don't acknowledge that side of them.
But no, you're not alone. It's different for everyone.

 

I new I was gay for about 2 years but I superssed it the whole time, sorta denying it trying to change myself. I'm 14 and I have been dating girls for a while but it doesn't make me happy at all. I just a couple months ago started realizing i was gay and have stopped dating around and trying to change the unchangable. So its different for evryone

 

My realization was gradual after puberty.

As a kid I had those dopey childish crushes on girls where I was too shy to talk to them but couldn't stop looking at them etc, but never guys. Maybe it was just societal training to be heterosexual, but I honestly don't think it was because liking guys never even crossed my mind as a possibility, (even after being made aware what 'gay' meant) and I was never preached to about homosexuality being wrong at that age. That definitely made it confusing when the attraction began in high school.

 

I gradually began to realise after the age of about 12, but I didn't KNOW know, as in have my "Eureka" moment, until my twenties. However, I have actually always known - whenever I got drunk or upset before this point I would always think about how I was gay.

That is perhaps a confusing story. I think that basically I would have known since age 12 had I not tried so hard to deny it. my "Oh My God I'm gay" moment doesn't really actually mark when I realised, but when I let myself truly realise.

 

This is quite literally how I realized my own sexuality.
I was looking at a brochure from PBS with different movies you could buy, and it had an entire LGBT section. I vividly remember one of the films had a cover which featured two shirtless men hugging, and I was very quickly interested in what was going on despite a set of "values" I had learned growing up.

It was fast and frightening.

 

ive always known i didnt just wake up one day and think " omg im gay" i was just always attracted to the same sex

 

That sounds a lot like me... it never crossed my mind until after puberty, and even then it took me a few years to really acknowledge it.

 

Yes, I was exactly the same. I had quite a few dopey crushes on boys, but after I really hit puberty I discovered there was more to things than that, and that's when I started to realise that I might be gay.

 

I don't feel like I was born gay. I had a lot of crushes on guys, and they weren't just due to me trying to fit in or anything like that. I seriously liked them. I was in mini relationships that I enjoyed. When I was thirteen I was pretty much like f*** this, I'm dating girls now.

I'm also one of those annoying people who believe that it was my choice, not the way "I am", though I believe it is my choice in the way that my favorite color is my choice, who I am means that I would pick a particular thing, but still.

 

Well realizing and just knowing is kind of different i think. Cuz like i always knew something was there, that i was attracted to guys, that i liked not so guy things when i was younger. But it just like didn't hit me until i was like 14 that i could possibly be gay

 

I had an, "Oh, my God, I'm bi moment when I was 14. In the following months, I realized I was gay. Since then, I've reexamined my memories and noticed I've been gay as long as I remember. I had some crushes in elementary and middle school that I didn't understand until the last few months.

 

I had a gradual realization after breaking up with my boyfriend. For reasons unknown, I hated cock. I refused to do anything with it, and I feel kind of bad because he still did favours for me. I had experience a girl (with my boyfriend at the time) during this relationship, and something clicked.

 

I did have a sudden moment where I accepted my sexuality.. but on so many levels I knew I was gay for a long time before so it wasn't really a sudden realisation, I just stopped being so scared by it and was just true to myself. I had thought about it A LOT before, it just scared me so much that I had tried to hide all the obvious gay feelings by telling myself I would like guys one day... It didn't work. I also realised I was actually happier and liked myself a lot more once I just accepted it .. things got a little easier and clearer after that.