I am confused. I had a drunk conversation with a friend last night, and although I don’t know how we got on that topic, but I’m pretty sure I told her how I am confused about my sexuality and I don’t know what I am. I’m so scared I don’t know what to do, who to talk to. I’m not sure I’m gay, because I’ve never actually had a romantic interaction in my life. Nobody’s ever been attracted to me, so I never had a chance to figure this shit out. I don’t want this to be a big deal, I don’t want to have to think about it because it makes me so uncomfortable I want to cry. I’m so scared I have no idea what I’m doing. How do I begin to figure this out without making a fool of myself? I don’t know how to approach this, and the fact that somebody knows. Now I feel like I’m going to be really embarassed if I’m not gay and I had that conversation and it’s going to be really awkward. Then, on top of that, last night I had a dream about this girl, Gracie, and she was behind me whispering in my ear about something and I remember feeling super attracted to her. So there’s that. This scares me because I’m not really comfortable with the idea of ANY sexual/romantic relationship, let alone one that would be so different than what I imagined for myself. I don’t necessarily like the idea of being gay, but I’m not sure if that’s because I know it would be hard and scary or if it’s because I’m actually not gay. I can’t imagine a sexual/romantic relationship with a woman, but I can’t really with a guy either. Is it normal to question it this much? Does it mean I’m at least bi for having this much confusion over it? I’m just so confused and scared and anxious and I don’t know what to do about any of this, but now that I kind of told someone that I’m feeling confused, I feel like I have to deal with it and come to some sort of conclusion. Looking back over the years, it makes sense that I could be at least a bisexual because I've had "crushes" on girls, but I always imagined that I would marry a boy and have children, etc. so the fact that I'm questioning things this much is really scary. What should I do? How do I know what I am?
Hey Laurel123! That sounds just like me! My roommates last year were convinced I was lesbian, but I kept deigning so one night one of my roommates took me to a party, got me drunk and asked again. That time I let her know I was questioning I didn't reach out to anyone at the time, and that is one of my greatest regrets. So be proud you have the courage to come here and seek help! Whatever your orientation, only you can know, but sites like these can be great resources For me, it became more clear when I thought about certain things and asked myself questions. There are a lot of different suggestions on this site as well, so go ahead and browse the earlier threads! Some of the things that let me know I was interested in girls were: - Whenever someone showed me a picture of a group of people and asked who I thought was the most attractive, my eyes were always on the girls first, then I had to remind myself to look at the boys - Even though I can't say I know my 'type,' it takes a lot for me to think a girl is unattractive, and it is even rarer for me to think that a guy looks good. - Again, platonic but sensual dreams involving another girl Has it only been that one? There are other little things, of course, and a lot of people on this site with better advice than me, but these were a few things that tipped me off. I know what it feels like to realize that you might not live the life you expected, but just remember that there are as many ways to live a life as there are people to live it, and there isn't a road to happiness because you can find it on your way whatever path you take
Hello and welcome to EC. Its ok to be confused, you shouldn't feel embarrassed about thinking about what types of relationships you would like to have Its good that you feel able to talk about your sexuality with someone and what you are feeling is COMPLETELY NORMAL!!! You dont say how old you are but it is ok to question your sexulaity and you should know that this can change over time. You can start off fancying the opposite sex then change your mind over time. When people progress through life they fancy different people. People don't necessarily fancy the same people at 30 as they did at 18, even if they always fancy some one of the opposite sex. Dont feel bad about how you feel and come back to EC for more support if you need it. x
