Since I was in college, I've been sexually attracted to women, but I love men just the same. At that time I was in a relationship with a man that I loved and cared about. He was everything to me and all I wanted for so long, but one day I saw a beautiful woman all that changed. There were times when I saw an attractive woman and I could not help myself to look at her longer than usual. For so long I have suppress these feelings because part of me could not understand why I felt this way. I do not believe I was born like this, I believe that somewhere or sometime in my past women started to look different in my eyes. I have never been with a woman, but more and more I am curious to the idea. Most days it feels like a itch I cannot scratch, a loud sound I cannot turn off, or hunger I cannot satisfy. I am not sure what will happen, but I know this is important for me to explore and experience. I live in a southern state so finding a woman who like me in that way is like finding a needle in a haystack. I am so confused, scare, and anxious that someone I know will figure out my secret and that I will disappoint and embarrass my family. I tried dating guys to feel that void, but I feel like if I do not explore this I cannot more on. Thoughts anyone?
Hey ! So , one thing that may help you alot is to organize and litteraly write your feelings . Devide in physicall and emotional attraction . Ask yourself : "What do i feel atratctive on men that i don't feel in women" , "What do i feel atratctive on women that i don't feel in men" ," How i would feel about being with a guy and with a girl ( emmotionaly )" . You have to remember that depends what is most important for you , if you think that you would care more about : the physical attraction or emotional . Try to imagine how situations would be , it clears alot of things and organizes your mind ! It helped alot for me , i still kinda lost , but it made me to find what is making me struggle , instead of being confused on a mind roller coaster . I think , with what you said , that you're phyisically atracted to women and emotionaly to men , but i think that you haven't imagine yourself with a girl , i mean , emotionaly , ignoring the physical aspect . Good luck , remember that you can like both , more men in some aspects , more women in some , etc . And don't let the society build homophobic toughts on ur mind , because there isn't real reasons that say that not being straight is worong . Its all the same thing . Be happy and dont let another people make your mind .
Just do what feels right! Don't worry about anyone else, a good way is to come out to your family (I suggest once your 100% positive about your sexuality) but anyways Its your life! Im all for you exploring and finding a women to date. I suggest lesbian clubs/bars, online, lgbt community groups ect. You just have to look around and youll eventually find someone!
I definitely relate to that feeling of "an itch you cannot scratch". Like more than a curiosity, but this gut feeling like you'd be missing out on the greatest experience in life if you never try it. I don't know much about navigating a homophobic environment while trying to date girls, but I would start at your local LGBT group if there is one. I started coming to meetings before I knew 100% what was going on with me, just that I had this one crush and I didn't know what it meant. But the promise of anonymity helped coax me out of my comfort zone a bit and I got the support I needed. Hope that helps.
How dont know how you could find a girl but just examine if you like girls first. Or vice versa once you know about one you can examine the other.
